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- This topic has 22 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 6 months ago by AwesomeSauce.
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May 31, 2004 at 5:58 pm #46284HasanMember
Perhaps thats another thing I need to vent.
Everytime I make a post expressing deep emotions, I dont know but after a day or two I feel like I shouldnt expose myself so much as nobody cares anyway so I edit my post :$
But here is what I posed earlier…Quote:quote:
you know it hasnt been more than one and a half month since i’ve broken up with my girl friend who I was hooked to for like past 2 and a half yearsi’m not feeling as much terrible as I used to in the earlier days
but I feel so lonely
like no girl needs me for who I am
you know i’m quite different
i’m more into computers and stuff
I dont have general knowledge or cute things to talk about
i’m just not fun to be around
even thats ok with me
but I feel so lonely
I mean I do thank God that I’m quite alright
I think I’m better than alot of headless people
I’m good at studies
I’m good at programming
I’m good at other things
I can try to sing
I can try to dance
I can try to play sports
I can drive
I’m blue shawl in kung-fu
in my life uptill now i’ve tried quite a lot of things
because i’ve always wanted to stand out and be prominent
but in all that chase I lost…something
I dont know
i’m not an attractive personality
all the time I thank God for making me the way I am
because I think I’m quite talented
but sometimes I feel like
this talent of mine just surrounds me and its good for my own self
it isnt bringing me any love from anyone else
people may say ok the guy has brains
but that is it…no one goes further than that
i’m not a good friend
i’m not a good son
i’m not a good anyone
perhaps my existance doesnt make any difference to anyone
the only way I think I can affect the lives of others is I guess by hurting them
is that what I should do?
but thats not right
my life has stopped at this point
I feel totally empty
I thought there is only one single person who truely admires me
and she cheated me afterall
guess i’m a loser
and who feels like talking to a loser
I wish I could escape this place and move to somewhere where noone knows me
there people might love me as a stranger and thats going to feel better because here people do know me and after that if they are indifferent towards me…it cuts me deep
I’m sorry
for all this
it was zohaib’s birthday today
everyone was in pairs/couples and I was alone most of the time
missing my self
I havent smiled quite much in normal days of my life
the times in which I was most happy were when I was in 9th 10th grade
I love my self
Do you mind if I edit it after a while???
May 31, 2004 at 6:31 pm #46288AwesomeSauceParticipant*Ahem*….. Excuse me if I’m off-topic, but what does “Venting” mean?
May 31, 2004 at 7:44 pm #46279TigerbladeParticipantventing – just getting whatever you’re mad at off your chest, talking to anyone about it
May 31, 2004 at 7:57 pm #46287AwesomeSauceParticipantGreat… that’s just what I need. I’ll explain later.
June 1, 2004 at 3:13 am #46272OreoMemberHasan- Why do you beat yourself up about being alone? It is actually better to be alone and appreciate the good things about yourself than to be with the wrong person. I mean…look at all of your qualities. Granted not every woman is into pc’s and things like that…but there are some out there who are and who are just as into them as you. Perhaps these women are afraid that men don’t understand them and have the same feelings as you.
Right now, just focus on you. You talked about that party and everyone was in couples, it sounds to me like over your two and a half years you made a lot of friends with people who are in couples. Don’t drop your old friends but try to find some that are single. You’ll probably find that you will have more fun and you won’t think about how you’re alone…you’ll think “WOW…THIS IS FUN!! I haven’t had this much fun in AGES!” Going out as a couple is WAY different than going out with single friends. Also, think about WHY you felt good in 9th and 10th grade…what was it about you then that made you happy?? Were you single or just free to do what you wanted? I think you just need a few good nights on the town with some good single friends and you’ll be right where you want to be…don’t torture yourself with the past, renew yourself with the future. 🙂June 1, 2004 at 3:29 am #46283HasanMemberThanks Oreo!
You and sciencefeeling are definately good counselors.
Actually the thing is in 9th 10th grade; I was single.
I was studying in all-boys school so there wasnt any fuss of relationship and stuff.
My friends were pretty cool.
We were laughin out loud most of the time.
Grown ups have only two things to discuss: politcs and ***
I really liked that school age.Anyhow these are some emotional attacks/mental disorders I have at times and I just freakout!
I’m pretty fine now 🙂Though I still miss her…
June 9, 2004 at 11:47 pm #46278DaJMan1800MemberWhat’s really on my chest is how many people don’t like me. Sometimes I just feel alone. My only real friends went to my school last year and go to a different one this year. I swear everyone on BBB hates me too… Girls think i’m a big joke, the kind of guy people get a dare to. And the people I have a crush on don’t even know I exist.
June 13, 2004 at 9:57 pm #46275OreoMemberHey DaJMan, it sounds to me like you’re in the lovely time of your life in High School….let me tell you one thing…it will be over before you know and you can go on with your life and you’ll find people just like you. And the ones you have crushes that don’t know you exist…that happened to me a lot when I was in high school….well even worse…they KNEW I existed…but just didn’t care. But why do you think girls think you’re a joke? I bet there are some who really don’t. And I’ll tell you another secret…girls can be REALLY REALLY mean at your age. They don’t realize what they’re doing…well most of them don’t…just like you…they are trying to fit in with everyone. Just hang in there, keep in touch with your old friends, and try not to close yourself off to making NEW friends. Sometimes, if you feel alone, and close yourself off to others, people think you want to be alone and then just don’t talk to you. Stay as open as you feel comfortable with and just be happy being you. I’ll bet some of those girls will notice you…and guess what…YOU might not notice them! 🙂
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