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October 14, 2011 at 8:56 pm #34478Jeff HesterKeymaster
Short, but sweet!
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
AlcoholDear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
UnicornsDear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
LogicDear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The TitanicDear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
CanadaDear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
GoogleDear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BPDear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
GodDear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie WonderDear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black peopleDear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah PalinDear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco….
Sincerely,
United StatesDear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents EverywhereDear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
SupermanDear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon LadiesDear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012.
Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The MayansDear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native AmericansDear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely,
Every iPhone UserDear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey ShoreDear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant -
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