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December 5, 2004 at 9:04 pm #107243AqeelParticipant
Tell me from recent facts and the situation what would be their future… I would like to know.
December 5, 2004 at 11:33 pm #107227RabidKittenParticipantSeems we’ve switched topics a bit ehre to families and their approval. See, that’s kind of what I’m coping with here right now. Alright, one day my fiancee for 2 years comes up and says “See ya, get out” Just out of the blue. I tells me later that he was getting attention from someone else at work and it confused him because we were going through a rocky time and the attention made him start double guessing us…he’s never really gotten attention from anyone else before and for someone who’s in love for the first time…well I can understand the confusion, but it tweeks me that the chick was paying attention to an -engaged- man anyway, *restrains self*. Anyway…A long 3 month speil of me being…unstable to put it truthfully, him coming around and tossing around threats and such to my family because I took something when I moved out…yadda yadda, details. The only reason it was hard for me is because when I moved out at 16 because of family issues, his family took me in and treated me as their own. It hought I had a family again and when they turned their backs on me, I litterally had -nobody- anymore.
To get down to it, after those months, he comes back and says I’m sorry, explains how he was feeling and crap, how he knew two days after I left that it was a mistake but he was trying to fool himself and be angry at -me- for it for some reason, all that. Well truth of the matter is, I was stupid (or am stupid) and went back. The thing is…he didn’t tell his family because during these three months he lied to them about things to make me look bad. Said he thought I was unfaithful with my best guy friend (Which is just disgusting), and all of this, well now that I’m moving back into the apartment…he lives with his brother in law, which means -we- live with his brother in law. Well, finally his best friend told them (By the way, he didn’t even tell him until 2 months after I came back), and I’m still not allowed to go there for holidays. They don’t accept me anymore, and I guess continuously pick on him and yell at him about it, and get angry at him when he skips out on holidays halfway through to come and spend time with me.To sum it up, it’s just really hard to deal with families not approving. I mean…I think of it as disrespectful because they don’t want to accept his choices. Everyone in my family hates my brohers wife, but we’re respectful of his choice and just say “Well there must be something we don’t know about her that’s really great” And my family has completely welcomed him back into my life, regardless of the threats, the depression…I mean, I’m 95lbs period. Once this happened, I lost 20 lbs. That’s just how serious it was with me. It didn’t help that in the week he left me I broke my toe, lost my job, was suspended from college, attacked and beaten and my sister went to the hospital, all without him and he offered no comfort, all the while going to this other girls house and spending the night. It tore me apart. But my family welcomed him back wholeheartedly. Especially with the holidays coming around, it’s hard when a family doesn’t want you around…it kind of tears apart the hopes of a Merry Holiday, if you know what I mean.
December 6, 2004 at 5:18 am #107232gossipingraeMembermy aunt met her new husband online. they met in a chat room like 5 or 6 years ago…they found out they lived in the same town, and agreed to meet each other. this past may, they got married!
i guess you can fall in love over the internet. I think they met each other first and then fell in love. I personally wouldn’t date anyone over the internet…i have to have interpersonal contact with them. you can’t really function in a true relationship through cyberspace. but hey, everyone is different.
*sam, you went back to him? I think you are a strong and independent young woman, it made me a little upset to hear that. although I can’t really blame anyone…i dated this guy all throughout high school, and he hit me one time. after graduation, I didnt’ see him for a year and a half…one day he showed up at my job and we started to talking again. I knew it was wrong, because, after all, he was in jail for dealing coke to an undercover cop. and we started dating again (i was too ashamed to tell anyone, because of what people would think). we broke up again in november 2003…i see you as a more stronger person than I am…i didn’t think you would do what I did…as long as you’re happy, girl, it’s all that matters*
December 6, 2004 at 5:42 am #107228RabidKittenParticipantWell, regardless of anyones feelings about what I did, I did it *little shrug* I went back but only after I made him confess everything until I didn’t get any contradicting stories or tales, give me a key back to my apartment, appologized nearly every day, had many many talks about things that I was insecure about still and angry about, all of that.
Then and only then did I even ponder the idea of going back to him. In all honesty, it’s still rather tenative. I wont move back in yet, but I do sleep over there. I don’t stay there during the day and I don’t let him tell me if I can/cannot go places if it’s going to cause a slight wrinkle in plans like I used to, and I don’t let him use our car exclusively anymore. That and the computer’s still at my moms and I made him pay me all my money back that he stole from our joint account.
Hey, I’m not stupid…just believe in second chances sometimes if a person proves to be worthy *firm nod*Oh god, the second anyone would hit me, or try, that would be it, they would be on the ground holding themselves and bleeding. My dad pulled that crap and I would never, ever deal with anyone who even made as if they were going to strike me. I’ve beaten quite a few boys down after just raising their hand to me and without striking.
Kudos to you Rae for finally beating that monster, sometimes it’s hard to let go of something familiar like a relationship or a person, but hey, you know what happened, you learned from it and are a better person because of it. AT least, thats what I tell myself when something horrid happens, heh…
December 6, 2004 at 6:46 pm #107244AqeelParticipantAhhhh’ cruel really this world is so cruel. Sam* I’m feeling sorry specily for you. But I believe in Mahatma Gandhi’s this quotion. “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. “
So try to start life in a new way, live a new life. Take insipration from nature, “If autmn comes then spring will be not far away.”
Try to keep smiling, smiling like flowers. My humble wishes are with you.:)December 18, 2004 at 2:33 pm #107230ScarMemberQuote:quote:Originally posted by AnnaThis is a forum, not a chat service. You may not get a response for days.
I’m a member in a forum where you actually post and get 3 to 7 replies within 5 minutes. It depends on the people, not about it being a chat service or a forum.
December 21, 2004 at 6:55 am #107233gossipingraeMemberI think it would be so very difficult to have a relationship with someone only over the phone or internet/webcam. There is a lack of interpersonal communication (which is, comm. with more than one person face to face) and that makes it so hard.
However, true love lasts and waits, no matter the time or distance. I would never do it, I don’t have the patience.
December 21, 2004 at 7:50 pm #107235cuteb0mberchickMemberOk, I don’t want to repeat what you guys said again so i’ll just get to my point.
If you meet up with someone on net wouldn’t it be very dangerous? because I heard the radio said that teenagers today has been kidnnaped of meeting a guy/girl on net.December 21, 2004 at 8:27 pm #107226DaJMan1800MemberYes, I’m sure it can be dangerous, anything can be dangerous. There’s always some deranged person who wants to kidnap people on those kinds of things. This isn’t just on dating services, you can find it in chatrooms and everything. I guess you just have to be cautious, weigh the risks and stuff.
I personally have no idea why anyone would want to meet someone online. With that kind of thing, anyone could pretend to be anyone. Many people could be setting themselves up for a disapointment. I think a long-distance relationship could be hard to handle…Just my opinion, you don’t have to listen to it or post anything against it…
December 22, 2004 at 3:49 am #107236cuteb0mberchickMemberi agree with DaJMan1800 that long-distance relationship could be difficult to handle, so I think the best thing is to date a person that you actually see them.
December 22, 2004 at 5:02 am #107229RabidKittenParticipantSee, the long distance, never seen them thing is impossible to deal with and I really don’t consider that a relationship. This is why, I did that for a time, and we were really good together, but then he moved here and stuff and we moved in together. He. Drove. Me. Nuts! There are things that you never know about a person until they’re here, in person, with you. There are things you never know about a person until you live with them, as a matter of fact. Everyone has little bitty things that they do that they never think of because it’s ingrained in their personality, it’s just how they are. So really, in my opinion, you never really have a real relationship until you come face to face with those little bitty things and see how you cope with them. That doesn’t mean moving in together nessisarily, but it at least means being around that person.
December 23, 2004 at 7:24 pm #107234LLXerxesMembernope. not in RL not on the net. But, I might get a hookup in RL.
but, no. It’s just… not the sameJanuary 5, 2005 at 6:32 am #107245Twisted SistaMemberI dont think i ever fell in love on the net me and this guy kinda got of alrite but i decided to stop talking to that him beacuse he didnt seem real that is the dangerous thing about net relationships i dont like him anymore and he is always asking me to turn mi cam on but i dunno i dont like it it seems kinda creepy but we still talk and do you know how i could tell him i dont like him cause he thinks is still do and i hate making people feel bad 🙁
ThanxJanuary 13, 2005 at 11:03 am #107219sciencefeelingMembergossipingrae wrote:However, true love lasts and waits, no matter the time or distance. I would never do it, I don’t have the patience.Hello gossipngrae, I am glad to be back and find you around!
In my opinion true love lasts but doesn´t wait. I felt in love with someone 4 years ago, but he has never really showed major interest, he did show some, but just physical. My love lasts, but I am not about to wait for somebody and not meet anybody else for the rest of my life. What if he never comes around? Right now, he´s got a gf, what am I suppossed to do, wait see if they break up? No way..he should take his chances and put me at the top of the list, otherwise I am better off without him, no matter what my feelings for him are.
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February 28, 2005 at 9:03 am #107246-bAbY_meX-ParticipantI’m not really comofortable with relationships between people who just met in the internet because how would they know if the other is saying the truth or not? I’m much more with personal communication. It’s also hard maintaining a relationship formed that way because one day, you might just lose communication without being sure if that loss of communication would mean that you’ve broken up or are still together. It’s also dangerous meeting up with someone you met in the internet.
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