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January 12, 2005 at 4:38 pm #15939neo_ny_23Member
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE cALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……FOR JUST
BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message.”Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
3).Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
4).Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”Tech Support:: ?!%#$
5).Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
6) Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”Customer:: “A white one.”
7). Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”Customer:: “How do you spell that?”
8). Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”
9). Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”Customer: “Pentium.”
10). Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
11).Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
12).Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”
13). Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
14). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open
24 hours.”Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
15). Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support:: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right
now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?January 12, 2005 at 9:19 pm #111798StigmataMember3: word could of come pre-installed??
haha sound too funny to be true 😀
January 12, 2005 at 10:23 pm #111795SpikeMemberHeh, I love the computer illiterate. They’re so funny. But you have to wonder to them ‘How the hell do you survive?’ This is VERY funny, though, I almost fell off my chair I couldn’t stop laughing. Good find. 😉
January 12, 2005 at 10:29 pm #111793AwesomeSauceParticipantYou can see some more of this stuff on the “Computer Stupidities” homepage:
January 12, 2005 at 10:29 pm #111794neo_ny_23Memberhehe, i got this as an email from one of my friends. and i can imagine the stuff coz i help some of my friends online with their virus/computer related problems. and i must say, they just give up when I say, “ok.. lets do it.. Just right click on ur taskbar and click “Task Manager” ” and after that they just give up because most of them dont even know whats a taskbar or whats right click. so forget about Task Manager. I even had hard time to make some find her “Print Screen ” key on her keyboard.
January 13, 2005 at 5:57 am #111796QuiksilverMemberThose are great!
I don’t usually laugh at things I read but I did at a couple of those!
January 13, 2005 at 8:38 am #111797sarahtownyMemberWhen I first got my comp I must admit I phoned the help line a few times about silly things, just hope one of those was not me! lol But one thing my boss did when he got his first computer was when we were training I asked him to press the space bar. He looked totally confused and asked what it was lol now that lesson was hard work let me tell you! hehe
January 13, 2005 at 10:54 pm #111792Jeff HesterKeymasterlmbo, the customer reminds me of myself asking my friend how things work when I first got a computer.
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