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November 13, 2007 at 6:17 am #27921AnnieHallParticipant*^*^*^*:confused:*^*^*^*
****************As the holidays approach each year I have to take a deep breath and brace myself for the madness that is about to ensue. It’s not the shopping crowds, the lines at the post office, the near death baking accidents or even the inane jokes about my name (my real name which has a Christmas theme only because I was born close to Christmas) that gets to me. Its the decorating, which my family has elevated to an amazing level of bizarre insanity. It’s just not normal. But I feel compelled not only to participate but to compete.So, I thought perhaps we could share ideas… the more outlandish the better (for my family anyhow).I’ll start …..A few years ago at Thanksgiving all my cousins had a center piece making contest. There was a price limit as to how much you could spend and you had to make it yourself. Those were the only rules. Now being a comedian, my family has come to expect extraordinary, or as they call it … weird things from me. I do hate to disappoint them so this is what I made and proudly carried to the family gathering:That’s right folks….
it’s a turkey made from a roll of toilet paper (for the body), covered in maxi pads and pantie shields for feathers and a tampon for the head and beak.
Martha Stuart eat your heart out!!
And the results of the contest? ………..I WON!! I WON!! I WON!!!!!!!Now this Christmas, the decorating contest is going to be intense because my sister just moved in up the road. So I want to hear all your ideas. Tell me or show me all about the best decorations you’ve done or seen.And I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe thanksgiving.
May God bless you and all your loved ones.Gobble! Gobble! -
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