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AnnieHallParticipant
“dozen this get old after awhile?” …. kidding, :p ok I’ll play along
dozen eggs
ba-da bing!
AnnieHallParticipantOMG!!! Phillip that is toooo funny!!! 😮 No, that’s not what I was implying … but I’ll never look at a club sandwich the same again.:p
I was doing the old Foxworthy bit on redneck terms … “manaises alot of people here tonight” in proper english would be “Man, there’s alot of people here tonight”
My fav redneck term of his (not that I’m a huge Foxworthy fan … I prefer Ron “tater salad” White to any of the bluecollar crew) but I like the term “witchadidja” used in a sentence… “Hey… you didn’t bring your truck witchadidja?”:confused:
Enough about that … I gotta throw a flag on the field over “hours devours”:rolleyes:
…. I’m sure we could devour many hours discussing the faux paus there too.LMAO!! :woot: And I have missed y’all too!
AnnieHallParticipantman-aise
(a redneck compound word…… ” Man, aise alot of people here tonight!”)
admit it … y’all have missed me.:p
Ba-Da BING!!:woot:
AnnieHallParticipantGrade school:confused:
AnnieHallParticipant^
~*~*~*^:D^*~*~*~Thanks so much for the birthday wishes, y’all. And a belated (very belated):o Merry Birthday to you Nessa, Dan and George. I always say “Better late than pregnant” And you take those as words of wisdom from one of your elders. (Much elder)I hope y’all had as wonderful a day as I did. And may we all have a splendid New Year too. I have a good feeling about this one… I do … I really really do.:)Big Wet Kisses!:pAnnieHallParticipantposted by sarahtowny:
my main responsibility is that I am the manager of the commercial debt collection team.
detn8r;224454 wrote:O RLY?!Well, I actually work at a collection agency, in attempts to recover funds from student loans, credit cards and phone/internet bills.
LOL! The IRS once seized my way the hell overdrawn bank account. I had $1500 in overdraft protection. I had spent that and bounced one check and thats when they grabbed it. I laughed my butt off, thinkin’ “Well… that was somebody’s tax dollars at work.”:p
That was back when everyone in the real estate business in Austin was going bankrupt and I worked for them.
Then, after being chosen as Apartment Manager of the year for which I got a plaque and a pay cut, I sold everything I owned and hit the road doing stand up comedy.
Now I mostly paint stuff and help people.:D
AnnieHallParticipantI grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting to get into the bathroom.
I always thought that’s how country and western line dancing got started.:rolleyes:
AnnieHallParticipant~~~:confused:~~~I thought you meant a rubik’s cube. I was all excited thinkin’ they were makin’ a comeback.:rolleyes:AnnieHallParticipantJeff;224035 wrote:Having been to traffic school all day yesterday (part of the cost of owning a red Mustang GT), I can vouch for this one. Almost everyone in the room considered themselves to be an above average driver. Ironic, since they all were ticketed, eh?====@:cool:@>I use to teach comedy defensive driving. I swear I was the living embodiment of “Those who can’t do, teach”. Well, … I had taken the course so many times, I had a masters degree …. they had to let me teach. LOL!I swear I once got a ticket on my way to teach a class. The cop didn’t think it was funny at all.:rolleyes: Then there was the time I totalled two cars … my fault, oops. While the cop was writing my ticket for failure to yield the right of way, the tow truck pulls up, the driver gets out and says “Hey … don’t you teach defensive driving? … Yeah! … I was in your class!” Now the cop is laugh his ass off and teasing me. “Is that your only job? .. Anything else you’re good at?!?” It’s real easy to be funny when your armed.I have had every kind of car trouble imaginable including 3 car fires. The most important lesson I learned from the 1st one … if your car is on fire, …. NEVER pull into a gas station!:oBut I think my finest moment involved a drunk driving incident. I am the only person I know who ever hit a drunk driver.
Totally my fault … I had an open lipstick container in my hand. (there oughta be a law!) I know, I know … I am the woman driver that gave the rest a bad rep and for that I do apologize. I also feel kinda bad for ruining this poor guys buzz.He was sitting at a red light, minding his own business, probably thinkin’ to himself, “I’m doin’ good …. I’m almost home …. I’m gonna make it.” ….
BAM!!!
I never saw him. I hit him at 45 mph without ever hittin’ my brakes. I felt the impact, looked up and just saw him projectiled down the street. And with impeccable comedic timing, just as I hit him, …. the light turned green! I bet he thought “Damn!!! Impatient woman!!!!” Well GO! LOL!
Now, I hit him at 45 mph ….. I was driving a Dodge Shadow (which I have to say is a fine automobile, it’s just a real bitch to find in the dark. BA-DA BING!!!) My worthy opponent, however, was in a 1972 Ford LTD. Yep ….. he won. He had a cracked tail light …. that was it. My entire front end was nothin but a trail of kindling all down the road.
Thank God I was wearing my seatbelt …………
I didn’t even smear my lipstick!!!!Well, needless to say, after sharing these tales, all my students would leave my class feeling good about their cars, really good about their driving skills and really, really good about the 5 minute head start I would give them out of the parking lot!!:woot:
Now aren’t you all glad you live elsewhere?:p
AnnieHallParticipant!#*#*:confused:*#*#!In looking back I don’t understand some of the toys we had as kids.I recall I had a doll that when fed her bottle, moments later would pee out
of her left butt cheek. :confused: What was up with that?And don’t even get me started about lawn darts …. remember “Jarts”?
There’s a game where you don’t want to loose the coin toss!:(I much prefer the toys I have now… radio controlled model airplanes, a big Bertha Warbird (it’s a golf club), the marlboro dartboard, my pc and my
AK-47.:cool:AnnieHallParticipantRichard Pryor
BA-DA BING!!:woot:
AnnieHallParticipantDid I win?!?!?!?!:woot:
AnnieHallParticipant***:confused:***They say 50% of all marriages end in divorce, …. well that means the other 50% end in death. ….. who’s really winning there?:p
… and what’s your point?Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your 2 cents worth in?
Somebody’s makin’ a penny. :rolleyes:Why does your nose run and your feet smell?…..:confused:Has anyone noticed recently that one of the best rappers is a white guy, one of the best golfers is black and the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese?It just goes to show you that we are living in a time of infinite possibilities.:)AnnieHallParticipant:confused:Hmmmmm….. I don’t have co-workers or go to an office but I thought I’d give it a try just for fun.First, I put in Annie Hall (which anyone who was alive in 1977 should know isn’t my real name but, that’s how I’m known on the net) it came up with “stupid whore”. To which I say ‘Hey, hey, hey! … I am not stupid!”:rolleyes:Then I put in my real name and it came up with ‘That guy”:confused:… …….. and I started thinking stupid whore is not so bad. LOL!I would love to know what nicknames y’all have really been called and the stories behind them are.I have had some nick names at work. At my first job literally everyone called me “sprout”. Then, when I worked in property management, I was known as the “Leasing Goddess of Austin” (what can I say… I could sell condoms to a eunuch. LOL!):pOld Mr Johnson across the street from me use to give everyone in the neighborhood nicknames. I was so touched to find out that he had given me one before he passed away last year and it took too. I am known up and down my street as “Bubbles”. Not on account of my personality but because I drive around with a bubble gun in my car, blowing bubbles out my car window. And by the way I think everyone should do this too. It makes sitting in traffic much more fun, and it will keep anyone driving a lexus from tailgating you. Although it will make your car kinda soapy. If you turned a hose on my car right now it would foam up like a mad dog.So putting it all together and signing off Rocky and Bullwinkle style….Tune in next week for :“That Stupid Ho Guy”or“Sproutless Bubbles”AnnieHallParticipant&#@%:p%@#&you forgot the first one everybody learns;Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?and then there’s these;
Rubber baby buggy bumpers, Rubber baby buggy bumpers, Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Red lather, Yellow leather, Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather
and when Chevy Chase would get tongue tied doing SNL’s weekend update, he’d stop and say “Toyboat, toyboat, toyboat”
And I was always careful not to goof up this one my Mom taught me;
I’m not a fig plucker’s daughter, I’m not a fig plucker’s son, but I’ll pluck figs till a fig plucker comes.
Mom was often a bad influence.:confused:
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