Math Teacher Arrested (humor)

>> At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered
>> to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight
>> while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide
>> rule, and a calculator.
>> At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said
>> he believes the man is a member of the notorious al gebra movement.
>> The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.
>>
>> Al gebra is a fearsome cult,” Gonzalez said. “They desire average
>> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
>> a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and
>> ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined
>> they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
>> coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
>> to say, ‘there are 3 sides to every triangle’.”
>>
>> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had
>> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
>> given us more fingers and toes”.