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Hello all I am new here and would like to find help. I am a concerned parent in a very fast internet world. being a parent is not easy as many know. here is the deal I have three kids the oldest 16 has a computer of his own and I allow him to keep it in his bedroom. if you know this age its a trust me dont ya dad situation. we all know how important that is. well I do trust him but I do not trust blindly and know how some not so nice people are lerking about thus my problem. anyway I have adsl and networking so our computers are connected. he has a cam as I do but I want to know if there is a way to connect to his cam un-noticed and a way to connect to what he is also seeing on someone elses cam. I love my son but we all know how life is in the real world and I do not want him to feel I do not trust him and chances are he would not fall for these ummmmm shady type of internet situations. thanks.
Hi, When it comes down to it we all know ‘trust’ is a big deal with kids. So you either have to trust in him and how you brought him up or deal with the consequences if he ever finds out you spy on him. We all know there are programs out there to do what you are asking, but then again, if you use them you may not like what you see either. Its a no win situation, consquences either way could be dangerous.
Williamlee i think you should really think about what you’re planning to do.Yes there are programs out there to do anything you like them to do,if you want them bad enough but if you start doing this you’ll end up regreting it.I dont think anybody is satisfied with the results they get from spying other people,afterall you spy to find something.Anyway this reminds me of a conversation i’ve had with my father,i told him trust has to be gained,and it workes in both ways.Just thinking about this makes me uncomfortable,how would you feel if one day you’d find out that your wife has hired a detective to spy on you,you’d think that she’s doubting your judgement,your integrity…Anyway what i’m trying to say is that you really have to look at this problem from all the angles cause out of love for your son you might end up doing a whole lot of damage.
Hi William
Like you I have a teenager but he is 14 not 16. He uses his computer to. When he first started using messenger I simply sat him down and talked about what I felt was appropriate from him to do and not do.
I have one rule and that is no chat rooms. To other teens on here that might be strict but that’s my rule and he is my son. So his messenger list is basically school mates and local friends.
You seem more worried about the cam more than anything else, why is this? Have you caught him doing anything naughty or are just letting your imagination run away with you.
Sounds like a father/son sit down chat to me. 😉 Be honest tell him your worried about him on the cam and why, I am sure he would appriaciate your concern rather than you downloading anything and him finding out!
As a parent you have to let them know you feel they are mature enough to learn from their own mistakes, it’s hard but it’s a fact of life. Believe me I know 🙂
Sorry I could not be more help but good luck!
Good advice my fellow members 🙂
I am going to add something to this 😉
Talk with your Teen About What he Can and Cannot Do Online.
Be reasonable and set reasonable expectations. Try to understand his needs, interests, and curiosity. Remember what it was like when you were his age.
Be Open with Your Teen and Encourage him to Come to You if he Encounter a Problem Online and Learn Everything You Can About the Internet and the kind of softwares you are trying or want to use.
Whether or not it is appropriate to use one of these programs is a personal decision. If you do use such a program, you’ll probably need to explain to your teen why you feel it is necessary.
thanks for all the advice on parenting although that really isnt what i asked. but hey thats ok no problem.
williamlee wrote:thanks for all the advice on parenting although that really isnt what i asked. but hey thats ok no problem.I know you didn’t come here looking for advice, but unfortunately for you that’s all we can give. The software you are looking for constitutes an invasion of privacy and it is against our forum rules and policies to encourage this behavior. I hope you understand why this kind of software is not the answer. Take the advice offered here before doing something as drastic as you are planning.being a single parent of three children is not an easy task having to work out of the home to give them all I can so they do not grow up not even knowing who I am. in a world full of people trying to harm our children we try to protect them from the dangers which again is not so easy. you see I know many think wanting to keep an eye on my son and those who happen to contact him is betraying his trust or invading his privacy which may be true on the surface but loving my children I would never use it to punish him or make him feel he is not trust worthy as i do trust him I have a problem trusting those who prey on children. as parents we do not have the tools or resources to protect our children good enough when we have to go by common rules while these monsters have no rules. We look at life a little different when we are in protect mode and we put aside these common rules when it’s our own kids and do whatever it takes to protect them. I can’t see it as invading his privacy but keeping aware of the harms that are sure to confront him. one asked why am I asking about webcams well it is simple it is the only section I do not already have access to and before you rule me a mean and crappy parent he is fully aware of the other access as for him acting naughty well he is a male teenager and at the age of making mistakes that he will have to learn by experience. I am not really concerned about seeing him on cam but was told in order to view this area (what he see’s) I have to have access to the entire webcam section. I do not want to sound like a jerk or offend anyone for their advice and I did say thank you but you must understand that I have three kids and I am a single parent who loves his kids and I am aware I can not put them in glass houses and padded floors but I can try everything I can to protect them from as many harms as possible and if that means I have to ignore a few rules to get a better look then I cant but try. as for someone invading my privacy like one suggested my wife hiring someone well that cant happen as she is no longer in the picture but then you also have to look at it as I am a parent looking after my kids not spying on a spouse although if that were the case she waste her money and the one looking for information would have a very boring job to do. I do however understand why you do not wish to help and I admire your way of also having something to protect but in my quest I can not complete unless I asked. thanks again
1st i would say just take the cam off them.
2nd, tell them you can see everything he does even tho you dont go that far to really monitor, and he wont..
and last to what you are thinking..
Been a network you can get programs specially for monitoring the network.
This been you can also monitor what sites they visit, what people they talk to, what pm’s they have, what programs they download….etc
i agree it could be a invasion of privacy for some but legit software exsists for children’s safety and is fully backed by many countries and constitutions.
Many PC’s these day’s in europe come with Child monitoring software for parents.
Use google to find the software.
they are just a selection of tools you can administer to your network as a parent.
if all fall’s…take the pc out of his room and keep it in open view elsewhere.
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