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November 10, 2002 at 5:30 am #7764LADYJMember
Bumper Stickers[/b]
1-It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
2-Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
3-Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
4-I’m not tense, just terribly , terribly, alert.
5-I started out with nothing, and still have most of it left.
6-Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7-Stress is when you wake up screaming and you relize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
8-Adults are just kids who owe money.
9-I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
10-YOU! OFF MY PLANET!!
11-A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
12-A bartender is just a pharmacist, with a limited inventory.
13-If at first you don’t succeed, try not to look astonished.
14-I’m driving this way to get you mad.
15-Keep honking, I’m reloading.
16-If we aren’t suppose to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
17-Lottery:A tax on people who are bad at math.
18-A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19-A penny saved is rediculous.
20-Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
21-Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.
22-Fairy Tales : horror stories for children to get them use to reality.
23-Going the speed of light, is bad for your age.
24-Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
25-I just got lost in thought. It was unfamilar territory.
26-seen it all, done it all, Can’t remember most of it.
27-On the other hand, you have diffrent fingers.
28-“Laugh alone, and the world thinks your an idiot.
29-“Born Free”…Taxed To Death”.
30-“Cover me.” “I’m changing lanes.”
31-“The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”
32-“Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.”
33-Why is Abbreviation such a long word?
34-“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
35-Stop Repeat Offenders! Don’t Re-Elect them!
36-Why do phychics have to ask you your name?
37-Who is General Failure, And why is he reading my hard drive?
38-Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
39-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
40-I use to have an open mine, but my brains kept falling out.
41-Black holes are where God divided by zero.
42-A fool and his money, are a girls best friend.
43-Very Funny Scottie, Now Beam down my clothes.
44-He who laughs last thinks slowest.
45-Okay, “Who put a stop payment on my reality check”?
46-You are depriving some poor village of it’s idiot!
47-WANTED:meaningful Overnight Relationship.
48-Out of my mind…Back in 5 minutes.
49-Who are these kids, and why are they calling me mom?
50-Instant Idiot: Just add alochol
November 10, 2002 at 5:42 am #66328Jeff HesterKeymasterHere’s another one that stuck in my cranium:
Nuke the gay whales for Jesus – Offends everyone in one feel swoop.
November 10, 2002 at 6:34 am #66334AnnaParticipantQuote:quote:Nuke the gay whales for JesusOuch *stab*. There goes your potential new members for the next 2 months.
Let me pencil you in for my ‘People to Hurt Badly and/or Kill’ list.
Where’s the dog? ‘Cause girls are such a drag.November 10, 2002 at 2:27 pm #66331rustedtightMemberQuote:quote:Nuke the gay whales for JesusOUCH
Where do I resign?
November 11, 2002 at 4:10 am #66333melneeMemberI like #29. I certainly feel that way every month when i get a pay check.:(
November 12, 2002 at 7:34 pm #66336Mistress of InnuendoMemberJeff, I must say I’m shocked lol, and while slightly offended, I did get a hell of a chuckle out of it none the less :).
Anyhow the only bumper sticker that ever touched me enough to put on a car was “Deliver me from evil; but let it keep in touch”.
November 13, 2002 at 3:44 pm #66330rustedtightMemberQuote:quote: Jeff, I must say I’m shocked lol, and while slightly offended, I did get a hell of a chuckle out of it none the less :).Lord of Darkness, Master of Hell……… hear my petition…
Where have I displeased you? I have condemned, insulted, be-littled, abused n been downright rude as is your teaching dear Master and here I observe a person only slightly offended[/b] how? how have I let you down?
Guide me Master, there are a thousand insults n offences I have not yet used here. :D:D:DNovember 13, 2002 at 6:47 pm #66335Mistress of InnuendoMemberWell I would have been more offended if it had been Nuke the Queer Whales for Jesus, something about the term queer grates on my nerves, even when my gay friends use it.
November 13, 2002 at 8:09 pm #66327Jeff HesterKeymasterAnother one that cracks me up is Mean people suck! Isn’t that in itself mean? So if someone puts that on their car, are they in effect saying to the world “I’m mean, and I suck!”??
Thank God bumper stickers don’t really need to make sense!
November 13, 2002 at 8:15 pm #66332melneeMemberBefore I got a new car, I had a pretty old junker, well, my kids thought so anyway, but I loved the bumper sticker that said, Dont laugh, its paid for!
November 14, 2002 at 10:44 am #66329rustedtightMemberHeres more bumper stickers………….
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her … or
something like that.EARTH FIRST! We’ll strip mine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you’re still an idiot.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
November 16, 2002 at 7:22 pm #66337JazzBabyMemberSome more bumper stickers:
*Don’t steal – the government hates competition
*Man created beer, God created pot – who do you trust?
*My reality check bounced
*Stupidity is not a handicap – Park somewhere else!
*Heck is where people go who don’t believe in Gosh
*Ham and Eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig
*If there’s no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
*Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
*Your gene pool needs a little chlorine
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