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Practical Solutions for Families Living with IM
Bridgewater, NJ, March 20, 2005 – With instant messaging (IM) fast eclipsing most forms of communication amongst teens, parents are just now awakening to reports of its abuse, addiction, and the rise of the phenomenon of cyber-bullying. According to Robert Price, Ed.D., Technology Coordinator of the Haworth, NJ Public School system, most parents of middle school-aged children are aware that their kids instant message, but they don’t fully grasp the concept.
“I am finding that parents, with their very busy lives, are just not savvy about the culture that is emerging from new technology,” he said. “It’s a different culture, and the kids are the ones in control of setting its direction – they have built another playground, the instant message playground,” Dr. Price added.
“Parents must accept IM exists and that it’s important to kids,” said Dr. Price. But this new culture ought not go unchecked. “Parents should sit with their child by the computer and observe IM chats, particularly for kids new to IM or those in early middle school. The children should let the other kids know that their parents are there and, if possible, the parents can contact buddy list parents to discuss IM use,” added Dr. Price.
“Parents are often unaware of how much time their kids are really spending each day IM-ing,” explained Dr. Price. “When school performance declines and there is a steady reluctance to participate in family or social activities, it’s possible that IM is being abused. I recommend parents approach the issue carefully to avoid alienating their children, but clearly convey the importance of IM limit setting.”
Dr. Robert Price’s Tips for Living with IM
- Acknowledge that IM is an important means of communication for your child’s peer group
- Create a dialogue with your child
- Get to know why they IM and what they’re chatting about
- Know who they’re chatting with via IM
- Have your kids go through their buddy list and tell you who they are and how they know them
- Discuss the value of more conventional means of communication so that IM isn’t used to the exclusion of normal situations, like visiting with friends
- Form a contract that clearly defines acceptable behavior for instant messaging
- Come to a workable agreement on what is an appropriate amount of time spent IM-ing
- Consider installing time scheduling software, such as IM Control! on your child’s computer to help regulate when they can IM.
While the omnipresence and importance in school-aged children’s lives of instant messaging makes it difficult to be the guardian of the content that is exchanged, there is a way to help manage the degree to which children may be impacted. “A program like I.M. Control! gives parents the ability to manage IM, while at the same time, it helps their children set limits as they learn to schedule their busy lives,” said Dr. Price.
I.M. Control! made its debut in the software market during the summer of 2004. Compatible with the most popular instant messaging software, I.M. Control! allows parents to set limits for the time children spend instant messaging. Focused solely on the scheduling of instant messaging use, I.M. Control! is not intended for content filtering or monitoring purposes. For more information, visit http://www.imcontrol.net
That’s interesting…though I know that my router (and I’m sure many others as well) has a function with which I can limit connection times for specific PC’s. Those are really good guidlines to help kids. I know when I asked students last year how many of them had the IM connected when they were studying; just about 100% of them had up their hands. And when asked if they used it while they were studying…about 90% kept up their hands. They were amazed that it might be the reason that their grades were not as good as they might be.
There is an interesting discussion over at Slashdot regarding a study that found that students do better in school when they use computers less. The challenge is that computers are hear to stay. They are a tool. Tools can be used for good or for wasting time. We need to do a better job of teaching people to use them appropriately.
In my opinion, IM is more positive than it is negative. Though many kids do waste time talking online with their friends, they do use it positively also. As a high school student, I use IM to talk to my friends about useless things, but I also use it to discuss about homework and get help about think i do not understand. I do think it is important for parents to get involved with their children but i do not think they should be too concern and overwatch their chiildrens IM or chatting acitivities. I think that is invading their privacy. I can assure you that your children are smarter than you think they are so if you’re one of those parents who are always in your childrens bussiness and spying on their IMs, you should really stop.
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