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May 21, 2007 at 5:08 pm #27056Leapy LeoMember
Is it important to you that people tell you plainly how they feel or would you run a mile from such an individual?
I’m interested in this as I quite like people to be “on the level” but I’m aware of hiding both negative and positive emotions everyday out in the real world; so where do we draw the line as far as truth telling is concerned? After all, it’s like my Dad used to say “Any idiot can tell the truth!” There is a skill in telling little white lies, no doubt about it, some call it “people management”, but where do we draw the line?
When is a lie okay and when is it not?
May 21, 2007 at 5:41 pm #161569AnnaParticipantIt’s a pretty broad subject… I could probably give a better response if I was given a specific scenario — as in, dealing with acquaintances, close friends, family, SOs, etc.
May 21, 2007 at 9:02 pm #161575Leapy LeoMemberHi Anna,
Yes it is a broader subject than I realised when I posted it.
I was thinking specifically of a work situation where sometimes you have to hide the fact that you do not respect another person’s outlook [or imput] because you know that to be truthfull would cause more trouble than it was worth.
Certainly, any kind of enforced proximity with “difficult” people rather than a social situation where we tend to have more say over who we gather around ourselves.
May 21, 2007 at 10:37 pm #161571TigerbladeParticipantWell, since there are different situations with different impacts, here’s what I do:
In personal situations, as with friends or family, romantic relationships, etc… I’m up front with everything. If they don’t like the truth, well then tough on them. Truth may hurt, but it’s more useful for them to hear the truth than to be lied to.
In professional/work situations, I find it best to… how can I say it… couch my sentiments in less harsh terms. I’ll still make it clear I don’t agree with whatever is being said/done, but I won’t say it as bluntly as I would otherwise. In a work environment, where there’s typically more riding on the interaction, there’s potential for some serious problems (not that being fired is a *huge* problem, but I’d prefer to keep my job).
May 22, 2007 at 12:18 am #161570DavidParticipantI like to be blunt and too the point. Can you tell? o.O
May 22, 2007 at 2:48 am #161568Jeff HesterKeymasterI prefer straight talk. I like to take people at their word, without mind games. I don’t like trying to read between the lines to sort out the hidden message someone is trying to send me.
And yet, some people seem to thrive on that. Maybe they’re afraid that if they say what they are really thinking, they risk being rejected or ridiculed. Maybe it’s a sign of insecurity on their part?
May 22, 2007 at 2:55 am #161572TigerbladeParticipantAs I re-read your original post, I realize I didn’t really answer your question. You asked what I would prefer others did to me. I said I try to be blunt, but not what I’d prefer from others.
And yet, my answer doesn’t really change much. I’d still prefer that people are just straightforward and honest with me. I like to think I’m open-minded and flexible enough to be able to deal with whatever’s thrown at me, but I don’t expect that of everyone else around me (as much as I’d like to), so I try to be a little more cautious.
May 24, 2007 at 11:54 pm #161573RabidKittenParticipantWell, it seems that people I converse with are apparently never straightforward. Which drives me insane. My family (at least my siblings and mother) are straightforward, my mama’s a bit more delicate but still gets the point across. She more or less thinks of the right words to get what she wants to say across more than sugar coating.
Thankfully my best friend and … I guess he’s my boyfriend?? they’re straightforward to the point where it sends a person reeling sometimes. Which is oddly enough…refreshing. I’d rather know than not…that’s kind of how I am. I’ve also been told that I rip people a new one without meaning to. Honesty does that, but they appreciate it later.
With work, I’m reserved and generally just keep to myself on personal matters, but with professional matters, I always like to be told what’s going on right away. What works, what doesn’t.
Sure I usually need to brace myself for critisism since…well I’m one of those people who take it to heart, but I’d rather know than have someone complaining about my work later on. And I tend to respect people who tell me straight more than people who don’t.
Though, I do have pride and don’t want someone coming up and saying “Wow, that really sucks. Stop screwing stuff up.” …unless I know them real well and then I’d blow it off. But I still want to know someone’s honest opinion about how things are going and not have to drag it out of them through a 20 minute conversation.
May 26, 2007 at 4:22 pm #161574LucifinaMemberHere’s my answer:
You don’t want to know, then don’t ask me! Of course the brash and bluntness of my statement will depend on my mood of the moment. I’m not mean about it- like some are- but sometimes you have to be mean to get the point across…i try my best not to be though.June 11, 2007 at 9:05 am #161577ShrekMemberI like to be straight forward and blunt but I alway keep in mind ‘what if I have to eat my words later’
June 13, 2007 at 4:19 pm #161576Leapy LeoMemberThis is a strange one because my observations just don’t match with what people are saying on here.
I’m not criticising anybody’s reply – I couldn’t because I don’t know any of you personally, and I wouldn’t do that, anyway – but the number of people whom I do know who claim to be “straightforward” but then turn out to have a huge capacity for sulking and brooding over perceived slights has always amazed me.
I really think that some people must have a tendency to kid themselves on this issue.
July 19, 2007 at 1:48 pm #161578SuzanMemberI always like straight talkers…………..
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