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June 5, 2006 at 5:27 pm #23317KudoParticipant
Actual doctor’s comments on patients’ charts.
FYI I have never wrote anything like this before :p Found it in a magazine I thought it was funny 😉Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day, the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
June 5, 2006 at 6:22 pm #145806sarahtownyMemberhaha they were fantastic! I hope none of them were comments you have made 😮
I noted this one “While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home”. You haven’t been looking at my medical records have you?
Thanks for sharing, gave me a big giggle time 😀
June 5, 2006 at 7:53 pm #145807PolarBearNPRParticipantThis reminds me of when I taught medical transcription (now an almost unneeded skill due to voice recognition/transcription programs) and some of the mistakes there were, umm, funny in the academic arena, but could have been a problem in real life. Here are some from the internet, since I promptly shredded the offending student work:
“below-knee amputation” as a “baloney amputation.”
A man’s vein inflammation, or phlebitis, became “a flea bite in his left leg,”
“a cute angina” instead of acute angina.
Viagra called “Niagra.”
The patient’s past medical history was well documented on her chest.” (should have been chart)
“Hearing was intact to lightening rod.” (should have been light finger rub)
“The patient should avoid his heart throb.” (should have been hot tub)
“The patient twisted his right ankle on returning from Iran.” (should have been a run)
One patient’s name was Overmeyer and they referred to the patient throughout the report as Ms. Overachiever
This shows that medical transcription proofreading should be continued (or begun).
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