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October 14, 2007 at 5:03 pm #27802DJ LankyMember
There’s this girl that I am attracted to at my workplace. Every time I talk to her or even say hi to her she has a huge smile on her face which tells me she likes me and her body language says the same. Sometimes when she’s walking through the store shopping she’ll be looking at me. I even caught her looking at me from the corner of my eye a couple times while she was shopping. When I turned to look at her she turned away quickly. Like she was shy to have me know she was looking. Even though we’ve only spoken a couple times I can’t stop thinking about her all the time. I know it’s not right, because we haven’t even gone out once, but I can’t help it. I’m trying to occupy myself with other things to keep her off my mind. Especially since I know it’s not a good idea to get romantically involved with someone at your workplace. And even though I’m not dating her, I sometimes get a little jealous when I see her talking to certain guys. (Which I know is horrible to get jealous!) But I know it’s because she’s a nice person and she gets along with people very easily so I can’t let that overthrow me.
If you guys can help me out or give me some advice on the following issues it would be greatly appreciated:
1) How to get a good conversation going with her to keep things interesting when I see her (which is not often by the way).
2) How to get her off my mind all the time. (Which I know is unhealthy and insane).
3) How to deal with the useless jealousy of seeing her talk to certain guys.
October 14, 2007 at 6:00 pm #164809sarahtownyMemberWelcome to bbb, wow what a first post! You must have seen we are a friendly bunch to post something so personal. Anyway here goes for my response.
What worries me, is that you are jealous that other people talk to her. You have not even had a date with her, what can you possibly be jealous of? These people she talks to are most probably just acquaintances. So just chill.:D
To have her on your mind all the time is fine, that’s what love is all about it’s not insane it’s a wonderful human emotion. Enjoy it 😉
If you have spoken a couple of times, at least you have that. When you see her again, grab her and give her a massive kiss! Just kidding, but I am sure you will think of something… Maybe be a little brave and ask what she is doing later after you finish work? What have you got to lose?
I hope it works out for you! Let us know how it goes 🙂
Good luck to you
:0)
October 14, 2007 at 6:14 pm #164810StigmataMember1) How to get a good conversation going with her to keep things interesting when I see her (which is not often by the way).
If you are working together there is your “in”. Just ask her how her day is going? She’ll prob say the usually that its boring and all you have to do is say something like “I know what you mean”…
The ice is now broken 🙂
You don’t even have to carry on a conversation… you could just say “well I do hope your day gets better *smile*, see you later”, which shows that you’re a nice person and that you are approachable by her in the future. So that could remove the shy factor. In a way its also playing hard to get which at this stage is good 🙂
Or you could always carry on a conversation, ask her where she lives (if close then you could offer a lift home one day? Maybe creating a system where you give each other lifts in alternative weeks? Thus getting to know her better on a more personal level?), how long she’s worked there, if she has much planned for the rest of the week. That kind of thing 🙂
2) How to get her off my mind all the time. (Which I know is unhealthy and insane).
Well I’m thinking as soon as you break the ice with her then this will settle itself down a bit… atm there is too much mystery to her. Once the cloud has gone, you’ll be more relaxed towards her.
3) How to deal with the useless jealousy of seeing her talk to certain guys.
Now seriously, this is something you want to try and ditch straight away. Jealousy is never a good thing. So what if she talks to other guys? She’s after you remember 🙂
Just relax about it 🙂 Take your time.
Hmmm tips:
Always smile
Always look at her eyes when talking
Always comment on what she is saying. Take a stance, ask questions etcYou’ve got nothing to worry about at the end of the day 🙂
Good luck
October 15, 2007 at 12:45 am #164813DJ LankyMemberThanks for the posts people. I appreciate them alot. They’ve given me insight and direction regarding this issue. And if anyone else has an opinion or advice, please feel free to post. The more the merrier I say. Thanks
October 15, 2007 at 1:46 am #164811PhilipModeratorOne important thing to remember is to always be yourself. Don’t pretend to be what you aren’t, in other words, don’t try to tell her that you know this and that, you can do blah blah blah…just be honest, and straight to the point. If you’d really like to spend some time with her, you could always say something like “Would you like to have some coffee after work?”
Sometimes in life, you have to take a risk. She could say no, but she could say yes…
October 16, 2007 at 4:41 am #164814DJ LankyMemberHey guys. It’s me again.
It’s about that girl that wrote about before. (See “Girl Troubles”) The worst case scenario has just happened. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself though. Let me start at square one.
I have this supervisor you see, whom I don’t really like much. I know he talks smack about me behind my back but he pretends to be a good guy when I talk to him. In my first post I mentioned that when this said girl talks to certain guys I wasn’t totally honest. It’s mainly when I see him and her talking together that I do.
Anyway, to get back to my story; while at work I went to go take my break. Where I saw them sitting together and talking. The moment I walked into the break room and she saw me she nearly went pale. Like she had been caught stabbing someone. She smiled at me shyly when she saw me walk into the room. I turned around to take my lunch out of the locker and as she looked at me once again, I looked away. I guess she must have taken that action as me being pissed at her for eating with someone else because she seemed really uncomfortable when I came to sit down. Even when I spoke to join the conversation she was nervous and reluctant to talk to me. I guess it’s because I didn’t say much. I just wish I knew what she was thinking! I’m afraid she might see me as a jealous guy. Which is stupid because we’ve never even gone out. The two continued to talk with her referring to a time when they had had lunch together before. Which tells me that they talk even when I’m not there. I don’t know if she said that in order to try to break the tension, just making conversation or trying to show me she didn’t care that I was uncomfortable with them talking and that she can do it if she wants. After she cleaned up they went downstairs together saying I don’t know what. This is why I didn’t like the fact that I kept thinking about her. I knew that the more focus I would put on her the more devastating it would be if something like this happened. And it did. And it was devastating.
Following that encounter I lost all will to work. I just wanted to go home, even my strength was giving way. I just puttered around until the end of my shift by which time I was feeling a little bit better but the pain was still there.
I know it sounds pretty bad and this post makes me look like I’m desperate, needy, insecure, and envious but I’m just another guy with everyday problems. This is just one of them.If anyone has some insight to share, give or some polite guidance on this situation, it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you.
October 16, 2007 at 7:00 am #164812PhilipModeratorYou haven’t even gone out with her once and it bothers you when you see her talking to another guy? This isn’t good, even when she’s talking to someone you don’t particularly like. If that feeling of jealousy rears itself up so early onwards, you’re not going to be a popular guy, believe me. You’ve got to accept the fact that whether you like it or not, she has every right to be talking to someone else!
This is what good relationships are supposed to be about. You have to trust your girlfriend, partner, wife, whatever. And that person has to trust you back, in return. If not, any chances of establishing a meaningful relationship are doomed from the start.
And as other members have said on this thread, you have to make a move if you want things to go beyond square one. Start up a conversation with her, make her feel comfortable, ask her whether she’d like to go out for a drink, something like that. And for goodness sake, kick that green-eyed monster far away from you!
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