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1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:”I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is absolutely and supremely always best.
16. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?“Guide to good English grammar” – Well golly, are you sure you’re the best spokesman for the job Dude? Your title isn’t even grammatically correct. Ironic, isn’t it?
i think the post was meant to be ironic shifter….
seeing as all the gramatical rules provided are violated by the post…
how about, always press the spacebar after you type a comma? For instance this would be wrong:
Hello,my name is Dave.
It should be:
Hello, my name is Dave.
Are we learning yet class?
How about excessive use of punctuation??????????????????????
In all seriousness.. I believe this thread should be made into a forum mascot, and maybe include MS Words paper clip, and were definitely happening!
all joking aside… for the moment… one of my really big pet peeves is people who have horrible grammar. it’s one thing to misspell the occasional word, or to abbreviate in favor of speed, or to eschew capitals (yeah you may have noticed I rarely use caps). it gets really annoying when every other word is misspelled, the grammar is horrific, and it looks like the person got held back in 2nd grade for a few years before they got tired of them. I know people (in college, mind you!) who have turned in papers that looked like they were copied and pasted out of IM conversations. the only thing that’s missing is the ever present smiley face sticking its tongue out at the professor.
it makes me sick.
and back to the kidding… I bet most of you have to go to google to find out what eschew means :p
Speaking of clippy…
Download Clippy v1.00, and you can have him on your desktop all the time!(or every minute, that is).
😀
I always liked the english on this site:
You know what I hate (Other than annoying overuse of “lol” and “waz ^” and “ur kewl” and “!!!1!!!” “OMG” and such), and I blame my freshman Math teacher for this.
I hate expressions like “I couldn’t care less” because nobody uses it correctly. They always say “I could care less”. If you could care less, then -Care Less-! Goodness! A simple “n’t” changes the entire subject matter of the phrase. Get it right, it’s common sense.
That and hot water heaters. If it’s hot…why heat it?
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