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September 21, 2002 at 2:04 pm #14124zarg01Member
does any1 think this joke is funny
Bill Gates picks his own punishment
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked up forever.Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill’s delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says “I’ll take this option.”
“Fine,” says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. “That was Bill Gates!” cried Lucifer. “Why did you give him the best place of all!”
“That’s what everyone thinks” snickered Satan.
“The bottle has a hole in it!”
“What about the PC?”
“It’s got Windows 95!” laughed Satan.
“And it’s missing three keys,”
“Which three?”
“Control, Alt and Delete.”
September 21, 2002 at 2:09 pm #100429zarg01Memberteh 25 commandments for computer geeks
Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes.
Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day.
Honor thy SysOp.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.
Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning.
Thou shalt use the English language properly.
Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible.
Thou shalt delete thine olden messages.
Thou shalt help other users.
Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism.
Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself.
Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications.
Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct numbers.
Thou shalt not post messages while drunk.
Thou shalt confine thy messages to those of friendship, requests for assistance, aid to the needy, advice, and advancement of thy hobby; and thou art obligated to repel any who wouldst transgress upon those commandments.
If thou doth promise to reply to a message and thou doth not, then surely thou shalt spill coffee into thy keyboard and burn out thy central processing chip.
Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership to a BBS, for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out and thy welcome on all boards will be thus denied forever and ever.
Thou shalt log on properly and in accordance with the SysOp’s rules.
Thou shalt observe BBS time limits.
Thou shalt not upload “worm” programs.
Thou shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the BBS instructions.
Thou shalt not exchange copy protected software thru the BBS.
Thou shalt not violate applicable state/federal/local laws hand regulations affecting BBS telecommunications, or thy will feel the wrath of thy judicial system.
Thou shalt not hack.
[/b]September 21, 2002 at 2:42 pm #100431friendlyfoxMemberhey thats …ummm
bytheway do u like my new picfriendlyfox
September 21, 2002 at 4:58 pm #100418rustedtightMemberQuote:quote: hey thats …ummm
bytheway do u like my new pic friendlyfoxWhat has your post to do with the topic?
Please keep to the topic and dont spam or your reward will be a 20% cut in your post count.
rustedtightSeptember 21, 2002 at 5:15 pm #100428zarg01MemberQuote:quote:hey thats …ummm
bytheway do u like my new picer………..frendlyfox i was thinkng of summn no1 else has
Edited by – shearheaven on 09/21/2002 20:10:33
September 22, 2002 at 1:16 am #100421shearheavenMemberQuote:quote:Quote:quote:hey thats …ummm
bytheway do u like my new picer………..frendlyfox i was thinkng of summn no1 else has
Is this really staying on topic Zarg this back and forth crap about ones icon?…Leave the kid alone about his icon…You have been warned as I recall in another forum…consider yourself warned once again…
(The edit in Zarg’s post was a booboo…hit wrong button)
shearheaven
Edited by – shearheaven on 09/21/2002 20:20:43
September 22, 2002 at 4:54 am #100420melneeMemberTo answer the question first asked, is this joke funny? NO. it aint. not to me anyway.
We never lose the ones we love, we lose the person, but love never dies. 🙂
September 22, 2002 at 3:51 pm #100430friendlyfoxMemberok rustedtight ure right it doesnt has to do anyting wrt topic.
i thnk it is not a jokefriendlyfox:)
September 22, 2002 at 5:39 pm #100425VaderXMemberQuote:quote: does any1 think this joke is funnyKindof
[VaderX] CehNehDian! [/VaderX]
September 24, 2002 at 3:37 pm #100417rustedtightMemberROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancyOFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtimeSHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
rustedtightSeptember 24, 2002 at 3:49 pm #100422PhilMemberLOL, wow, that is sooo funny, yet scarily true!! anyone got anything similar to those…i can learn whilst laughing
Phil
September 25, 2002 at 7:07 am #100419melneeMemberNow what Rustedtight had to say IS funny, and its also true. I especially enjoy the Discussion Techniques….
We never lose the ones we love, we lose the person, but love never dies. 🙂
Edited by – melnee on 09/25/2002 02:10:15
September 25, 2002 at 9:36 pm #100423Xteria864MemberQuote:quote: hey thats …ummmlemme spell spell it out fo ya
CCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
September 26, 2002 at 2:33 pm #100432friendlyfoxMemberXteria864
Quote:quote:lemme spell spell it out fo yaCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
is this the best you can say …nevermind
hey rustedtight dont u thnk it is very funny for us and very harsh on z girls (it sticks them to the corner ..)whatever its veryyyyyyyyy funny
and the best part i thnk wasQuote:quote: HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.i liked it
friendlyfox
October 7, 2002 at 7:31 pm #100427zarg01Memberok has anyone got any kool riddles out there
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