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Kids are amazing and some of their comments are better than pro comedians 😀
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small! . The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”. The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to honor “thy Father and thy Mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?” gasped her mother. “It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but three girls helped me catch him.”
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively ask! ed, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two
boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked.
“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s
printed on the bottom.”
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown! up and say, ‘There’s
Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael. He’s a doctor.'” A small
voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s
dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause yer feet ain’t empty .”
omfg those were funny! sometimes i do stuff then like my mom laughs then wants me to do it in front m grandparents and her friends and im like get a life and my grandma dies her hair blonde 🙁 o well
absolutley hilarious!Hi Soccerswty99, since you loved that set, I am adding another one I just got over e-mail 😮
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…“Then why did you eat him?”
🙂 🙂 🙂
Found another one ;). How I wish me was a kid 🙂
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
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