Home › Forums › Archives › Community Center › The BigBlueBall Lounge › What Makes You Laugh? › Make your own Jokes
- This topic has 16 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 7 months ago by zarg01.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 22, 2002 at 12:41 pm #7925seattle_guyMember
There is a new spy works for the FBI. Anyway, they have to spy on a fugitive and this new guy will do the job. The first time, the fugitive stops to buy soda drink, so the spy buys juice drink and radios his other caps saying “he bought soda and I bought juice and said I did that as a trick” The fugitive stopped in a gas station to buy red Malrboro, so the spy bought a light Malrboro and radios the caps saying “another trick”. Now, the fugitive hits the I-5 south going to Tacoma, and the spy hits the I-5 north going to Everett and called the caps, saying “ the fugitive hits south on the I-5 and I hit north … why !!!… Trick so the fugitive doesn’t realize that I am spying on him .. “
Note: I just made it up and I thought that it would be a good idea that everyone tries to make his/her own joke and post it. I hope my joke will make sense, so it will make everyone laugh .
“Y do we close R eyez when we kiss or sleep ??? cuz the most beautiful things cannot be seen.”
August 24, 2002 at 2:38 am #67451AnnaParticipantA car is speeding down a highway and inside is a Polak n’ a German; the Polak driving of course. After a couple turns n’ nasty honks, the Polak is beginning to suspect that his car’s flasher blinker light thingys aren’t working so he pulls the car up to the side of the highway. He asks the German dude to get out n’ check the blinkers while the Polak turns them on from inside the car.
So yes.. the German gets out.. walks to the back of the car n’ calls out to the Polak: “Ready!”. The Polak turns the signal lights on n’ listens for the call of the German. A couple seconds later he hears:
“…They’re on!… oh wait no they’re not… Yes they are!… No they’re not…. They’re on again!…. oh they went off again…”
Don’t take it personally if you have german blood.
Windaphoner
August 24, 2002 at 6:32 am #67456seattle_guyMemberHi windaphoner,
german blood ??? there is 00.01% that I would have a german blood…you ain’t even close. Well, I liked your joke . It was a real funny one. I am kinda upset cuz I thought it would be nice to post some sorta jokes and keep on. I will wait and see if someone will move and try to post a joke. If not though ! I will post another one and see how it goes.
“Y do we close R eyez when we kiss or sleep ??? cuz the most beautiful things cannot be seen.”
August 27, 2002 at 8:46 am #67455seattle_guyMemberHi,
Here is another joke and I hope someone reads it and tries to respond by posting a joke, so we can keep going …
There are two drunk men. Anyway, the first one asks the other. “Do you see the ant on the wall?”, so the other drunk man says “Yes, I see it, but where is the wall?”
“Y do we close R eyez when we kiss or sleep ??? cuz the most beautiful things cannot be seen.”
August 27, 2002 at 3:40 pm #67450AnnaParticipantAight,
Here I have a lot of jokes. Please excuse teh consistancy of Poles. lol.Two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are
amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other,“We’ll have to come back here tomorrow!”
The other asks,
“But how will we remember where this spot is?”
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on
the bottom of the boat, and says,“We’ll just look for this X tomorrow.”
The other guy says,
“You idiot! How do you know we’ll get the same boat?”
________________________________________________________
Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland? The Polish officials have so far retrieved 1000 bodies.
________________________________________________________
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.________________________________________________________
A Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took
off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting,“Huney I’m home!”
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it
to his head. His wife started laughing.“Don’t laugh!” he screams. “You’re next!”
________________________________________________________Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.
________________________________________________________A Polak guy is walking along the beach in France. There are
many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet
one. But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all
interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy
lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.“Excuse me,” he says, taking the guy aside, “but I’ve been
trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere with them. You’re French. You know these women. What do they *want*?”“Maybe I can help a leetle beet,” says the Frenchman. “What
you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming
suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way.”“Wow! Thanks!” says the Polish guy, and off he goes to the
store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back
to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.So he goes back to the Frenchman.
“I’m sorry to bother you again,” he says, “but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still* haven’t been able to meet a girl.”
“Okay,” says the Frenchman, “I tell you what you do. You go
to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way.”“Thanks!” says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the
potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach.Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can’t take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman.
“Look,” he says, “I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and
I walked up and down the beach – and still nothing! What more can I do?”“Well,” says the Frenchman, “maybe I can help you a leetle
beet. Why don’t you try moving zee potato to the front of zee
sweeming suit?”Windaphoner
August 30, 2002 at 3:40 am #67457abaconwParticipantTrue story but funny: A friend was sitting in the passenger seat of a car in a restaurant parking lot when another car driven by a blonde pulled along side and parked. Getting the girls attention, he told her, “Y’all have the most beautiful hair that I have ever seen.” After she blushed a little and thanked him , he continued, “but why did you dye the roots black?”
abaconw
August 30, 2002 at 4:31 am #67449shearheavenMemberHahahaha…Hehehehe…all of these jokes are funny…lol…I’m just not good at making them up……and if I do no laughs at them but me…rofl…
shearheaven
September 3, 2002 at 9:51 am #67453PhilMemberLOL!!!
They were really good…Windaphoner, u obviously have a thing for Polish people!!! all good though!!
I demand MORE!! MORE i say!!!!!!!!!!!
Phil
September 10, 2002 at 7:01 am #67454seattle_guyMemberHey sup guyz,
Here is a new joke for you that I just made it up two days ago.
[blue]Two men were hit by a car. One died and the other stood and started screaming and saying F-words to the driver. The driver stepped out of his car and said to the man who didn’t die “hey, what’s wrong with you? You just got minor injuries… Look at your friend! He died and didn’t complain .
Funny huh ?
“Y do we close R eyez when we kiss or sleep ??? cuz the most beautiful things cannot be seen.”
September 12, 2002 at 2:32 am #67459VaderXMemberQ:wat do u do when a polish soldier throws a grenade @ u?
A:take the pin out and throw it back!LOL!! and BTW keep up the good work!
CehNehDian!
Edited by – VaderX on 09/11/2002 22:07:58
September 16, 2002 at 7:02 pm #67461zarg01Memberlol
September 16, 2002 at 7:31 pm #67452PhilMemberLOL, ive heard a similar joke with the grenade about blonde people…firstly, i dont mean any offense by it, i myself am blond!
What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? RUN… coz theyve got a grenade in their mouth!
Phil
September 19, 2002 at 12:33 am #67458VaderXMemberhehe kinda similar but good! LOL!!! good work blondy!
CehNehDian!
September 21, 2002 at 2:08 pm #67462zarg01MemberThe top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
5. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net”
4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
3. Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons
2. When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President.”
1. You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, jerk.”
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
5. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net”
4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
3. Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons
2. When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President.”
1. You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, jerk.”
September 21, 2002 at 5:10 pm #67448rustedtightMemberQuote:quote: lolZarg01, one more dumb post like this and your total post count will be reduced by 20% and continue for every such post.
rustedtight -
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.