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- This topic has 9 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 5 months ago by JazzBaby.
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November 16, 2002 at 6:28 pm #13987shearheavenMember
I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face…..
This apparently was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite
genuine.The word is that the engineers literally rolled on the floor! (Especially note the last couple of sentences.)
If a mouse fails to operate, or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.
:D:D:p
November 16, 2002 at 6:39 pm #99551Jeff HesterKeymasterROTFLMAO!
Now does anyone know where I can get some big blue mouse balls? 😉
November 16, 2002 at 7:03 pm #99552rustedtightMemberQuote:quote:Now does anyone know where I can get some big blue mouse balls?Lookin thru my box o bits for a blue mouse…
Maybe a mouse with circulation problems???November 16, 2002 at 8:53 pm #99550Jeff HesterKeymasterOr maybe a cat has been playing with the balls?
November 16, 2002 at 8:57 pm #99556PhilMemberHAHA!! sorry, that really made me laugh……..that “information” about mouse balls couldnt have possibly been genuine!!! if it is, what kind of a world do we live in!!
by the way jeff, ur cat is cool!!!
“hey look, that cats got a jeff on its ass”
November 16, 2002 at 10:38 pm #99549Jeff HesterKeymasterQuote:quote:Originally posted by Phil“hey look, that cats got a jeff on its ass”
I was sitting here eating leftover Thai noodles for lunch when I read that… and I almost choked I laughed so hard! Warn me first, next time. 😎
November 17, 2002 at 4:15 am #99553AnnaParticipant**WARNING**WARNING – Any person(s) devouring thai noodles or is attached to a Felis Catus at it’s buttocks may find the following punny.
“hey look, that cats got a jeff on its ass”
Howzat for you Jeff? 😉
C’mon Phil. Learn… learn little one. You must learn from the Master.November 17, 2002 at 1:24 pm #99555PhilMemberlol, my bad!!! you must teach my the ways of humour….life is all about learning!
November 17, 2002 at 4:29 pm #99554snugleupagainstMemberQuote:quote:Originally posted by JeffOr maybe a cat has been playing with the balls?
😮 I have not!! Dang 1st Cat gets acused of having your tounge and now your big blue balls? 😮 I asure you I have only one tounge and No balls! 😉
Snuggs
ps.
For those of you who dont know my real names Cat. Ahhhhhhhh makes sence now. 😉November 18, 2002 at 1:27 am #99557JazzBabyMemberAwwwwwweee, Jeff, your cat’s such a cutie!
Here’s an interestin little (true) story from a WordPerfect customer service centre.
*the customer support employee has since been fired….
“Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“…….Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“……. Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power… A power outage? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
“Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really? Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.” -
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