Home › Forums › Archives › Community Center › The BigBlueBall Lounge › What Makes You Laugh? › Old ****** never die
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May 15, 2007 at 2:28 pm #26987PhilipModerator
Yeah, some of these are great, some are tasteless, but I’m sure they’ll all bring a smile to us. So here’s a smattering of my collection. Enjoy!
- OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties
- OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance
- OLD ALCOHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die, they just get wasted
- OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures
- OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world
- OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest
- OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off
- OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures
- OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out
- OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react
- OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket
- OLD COMPUTER PEOPLE never die, they just lose their memory
- OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
- OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact
- OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost
- OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp
- OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their balls
- OLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that way
- OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just imagine it
- OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs
- OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out
- OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under
- OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions
- OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just decompose
- OLD OWLS never die, they just don’t give a hoot
- OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing
- OLD PIANISTS never die, they just tinkle away
- OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain
- OLD PROSTITUTES never die, they just fake away…
- OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission
- OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles
- OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast
- OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
- OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class
- OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time
- OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever
- OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip
- WALT DISNEY didn’t die, he’s in suspended animation
And finally, my own personal favorite (caution: offensive language ahead) Left-click and highlight with your mouse :p
- OLD ****HEADS never die, they just get stuck up your ass
😀
May 15, 2007 at 2:56 pm #161270den44057Memberthose were great got a good laugh out of those lol. especially the last one.
May 15, 2007 at 9:52 pm #161267PolarBearNPRParticipantExcellent, Philip . . .
one more . . .
OLD MINISTERS never die, they just go out to pasture . . . (pastor)May 16, 2007 at 12:51 am #161268PhilipModeratorThanks, den and PolarBear, Jeff and Tom, for your comments. Feel free to add to the list.
May 16, 2007 at 1:26 am #161263Jeff HesterKeymasterGreat list, Philip. And another good reason why I’m not getting old. 😉
May 16, 2007 at 1:32 am #161264TigerbladeParticipantOld Web Designers never die, they just go out of style.
May 16, 2007 at 2:37 am #161266MrOatsMemberAll of these were quite good Philip!
I think this one was my favorite, though.
Philip wrote:OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just imagine it:p
May 19, 2007 at 3:08 pm #161265RabidKittenParticipantYou know, it’s funny you mention that Oats, hehehe….
There’s an illness called Cotard’s Syndrome where people actually -believe- they don’t exist or that they’re dead. In rare cases, they believe that they’re missing body parts. That little blurb just reminded me of that. *chuckle, shrug*
May 20, 2007 at 4:51 am #161269PhilipModeratorRabidKitten;219044 wrote:You know, it’s funny you mention that Oats, hehehe….There’s an illness called Cotard’s Syndrome where people actually -believe- they don’t exist or that they’re dead. In rare cases, they believe that they’re missing body parts. That little blurb just reminded me of that. *chuckle, shrug*
Thanks for that little nugget of information, Sami. It’s amazing what we can learn from reading these posts. Excellent! 😀
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