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January 11, 2002 at 7:40 pm #14325Jeff HesterKeymaster
These useful quotes are from actual federal employee performance
evaluations:- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- I would not allow this employee to breed.
- This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won’t-be.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
- Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
- A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier.
- I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
- He has been working with glue too much.
- He would argue with a signpost.
- He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
- When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
- If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he is the other one.
- A photographic memory but with the lens covered glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is not coming.
- Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change.
- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Thanks to Steve for sharing.
Jeff Hester
BigBlueBall.comJanuary 12, 2002 at 5:48 pm #102744ROBMemberLMAO!!! My fave: “suffers delusions of adequacy.” I like it so much I might make it part of my sig!
Rob
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