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November 8, 2005 at 8:06 pm #20591KudoParticipant
For all Women 😀
I got this today by email from a female friend and just wanted to share it here 😉Reasons It’s Good to be a Woman
1.We got off the Titanic first.
2.We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3.Taxis stop for us.
4.We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5.No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6.We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7.If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8.We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9.We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10.We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11.We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13.We will never regret piercing our ears.
14.There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15.We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.November 9, 2005 at 4:59 am #133217neo_ny_23MemberHere is a good one:
To impress a woman:
Wine her.
Dine her.
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her.
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.To impress a man:
Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don’t block the TV.November 9, 2005 at 7:54 am #133215TigerbladeParticipantheh, all of those are true. but of course I have to present Reasons it’s good to be a man. NOTE: I didn’t say i agree with all of these, I just link to them. I particularly like these:
-A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
-You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
-You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.November 9, 2005 at 8:46 am #133218sarahtownyMemberThose were so funny, thanks for starting my day off with a giggle! :0)
November 9, 2005 at 12:33 pm #133214OreoMember1.We got off the Titanic first. (COME ON…how many people are alive today who actually were ON the Titanic! 😛 )
2.We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. (I’ve actually never done that…who wants to talk about the Gyno stuff with ones boss? Besides, most of my bosses have been women!)
3.Taxis stop for us. (Yeah…especially when you stand in front of them and show a bit of leg! 😛 )
4.We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing. (But my frog blender dance is how I got my husband 😉 )
5.No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. (You got me on that one…the old “Banana Hammock” EEK!)
6.We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.(Hey…what do you think I’m doing now? LOL )
7.If we forget to shave, no one has to know.(Yeah, except in the middle of winter when one decides to wear a shorter skirt/dress and the hair you grow on your legs to “keep you warm” is suddenly long enough to pass as a pair of tights).
8.We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.(true)
9.We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.(That’s because all we need to do is look down and we know what we have is there 😉 )
10.We have the ability to dress ourselves.(Don’t start me…my husband was asking for his clothes this morning!)
11.We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(Very true…unlike the one male boss I had…who was looking to see if my thingys were still there instead of looking at me in the face.)
12.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.(UM YEAH! Wake up Tom Cruise!)
13.We will never regret piercing our ears.(Actually, one of my is at an odd angle…. 😀 )
14.There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.(It gives me a headache and causes a large backside…too many problems!)
15.We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.(Oh HECK YEAH!)Great list BTW! Thanks for sharing!
November 9, 2005 at 12:52 pm #133219MrEggsaladParticipantNow all these posts together are FUNNY. I especially like Oreo’s….
November 10, 2005 at 11:54 am #133216RabidKittenParticipantOkay, let’s do dis!
1.We got off the Titanic first. Y-Y-Yeah! And got our nudes sketched for half price too! … …oh wait.
2.We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. Heck, I just like scaring my roomate with them. It’s a double whammy when talking to a gay man *wink*
3.Taxis stop for us. *clicks her tongue* Honey, I got more legs than a bucket of KFC *scampers off like John Leguizamo in To Wong Foo*
4.We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing. Well okay, that’s true, but if I see one more girl in painted on short shorts wiggling her butt all over…I’m going to scream. Looks like a weeble wobble.
5.No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. I don’t know, those ghetto lame snow boots things are getting real old real fast…especially in places that -get no snow-!! And what’s with those ugly feckin’ bags with the gawdy hanging sequins all over? Ick. Oh… and… Paisley. *is a closet Paisley fan*
6.We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.No, we don’t have to…that’s what you’re there for!
7.If we forget to shave, no one has to know. Oh, I beg to differ. Something always turns up at the last minute where you have to where a skirt and you’re sittin in the bathroom in your underoos, dryshaving with your leg in the sink.
8.We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end. True…but it’s a bonus that I like to take advantage of anyway.
9.We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. Kinda hard to forget about when you have pillows strapped up under your chin!
10.We have the ability to dress ourselves. Yeah…but most women take forever to do so *holds her head* ugh. And what the heck is it with chicas changing their clothes midday? Isn’t once enough? Though…we do have the uncanny ability to look equally great in one of your old button down shirts or band tees. Just try and cram yourself into one of my hoodies. I dare you.
11.We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
..We don’t have to, true, but it’s a bonus that I like to take advantage of sometimes. *lies just because it’s humorus*
12.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. Aware and prideful. Yeah that’s right, I’m hot enough to get a shallow 20 year old to wiggle near me. What of it?
13.We will never regret piercing our ears. ICK! *shudders* Oh believe me, if I could go back to 1991…and the buggers wont close up either!
14.There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Yeah, but so can a nice backrub. Of course…beggers can’t be choosers.
15.We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway. Because I’ve never done that before… *devilish grin*
“So tomorrow we’re supposed to go see your sister because Zandrea’s turning 2.”
“uh huh”
“and then we can drop Zander’s gift off since we missed his party”
“uh huh”
“… … and I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet since I figure your breath smells like poo anyway”
“uh huh”
“*giggles*”
“*blink* What?”
“oooh nothing”
“WOMAN!”
“I love you?”
Ah yes…the wonders of being genderific. Danke. -
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