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March 5, 2006 at 5:23 am #21985EEDOKMember
This was some good advice posted at another forum I frequent
warning the language can be a little harsh at times as it’s not a kid friendly forum, if you’re easily offended by language do not read onReyab wrote:Bored and I wanna rant……..
High school is ****ed up. No really, more so than you probably even realize. The majority of things you’re going to learn are going to be in hindsight, you’re going to start that never ending quest of finding your place in the world, and someday you’ll experience the indescribable anguish of finding out you’ll never be able to drink as much as you want without feeling like crap the next day ever again.So realizing the stupidly large amount of bad karma hanging over my head and hoping to avoid inevitably being hit by a bus and then skull ****ed on live television by a bunch of hobos like I so very much deserve, I’m gonna tilt the scales and offer some of the most solid advice you’ll ever get. No ****. I’m gonna divide them into sections for you because super long posts of braod scope with proper grammar and flow are for either the extremely well spoken (such as Brackis), the jews, or homosexuals. All groups which I lay no claim to being a part of.
Sex
* Read sex advice columns, websites, books and articles in men’s magazines. No bull****, if you’re sexually active this is the single best piece of advice I can give you. The truth is that you don’t know **** and you’ve gotta realize it. Seriously. The 30 seconds of friction you’re so proud of accomplishing isn’t doing anything for your girlfriend. It seems ok because nobody else in your age group really knows what they’re doing either so you’re perfectly average in falling amongst the mediocre. But please, trust me when I say this; if you can be that guy who instead of going “It’s in where it’s supposed to be, right?” like everyone else but can rather trigger multiple orgasms, g-spot orgasms and time your **** so that you both walk away satisfied, you’ll not only 100% be the man in the eyes of your girlfriend, but all her friends as well. I’m speaking with experience here, every woman I’ve ever been with in that respect has told me I must be naturally gifted at that sort of thing. Naturally gifted doesn’t happen, so start reading
* The other piece of advice I can give is way easier and way less work. Simply let your partner know you’re into what she’s doing. Rather than sitting there thinking “Oh god, this is ****ing incredible” you should be telling her “Oh god, this is ****ing incredible”. Not only is this going to encourage her to try even harder to please you (and believe me, she will) but she won’t feel awkward in giving you feedback as well. Furthermore, I would wager 20 bucks that no couple in history has ever once had boring sex while the man is saying his bit and she’s got her eyes rolled into the back of her head begging to get it harder. Seriously, 20 bucks.
Relationships (bitches)
* For alot of people, you’ll end up dating the first girl you’ll ever have fallen in love with at some point during high school. You’ll never have felt so strongly about a person before, you’ll worship the ground they walk on, and all the moronic **** people do in movies over women will (rather frighteningly) make perfect sense. There’s one other aspect of this kind of relationship that people sometimes lose sight of. It won’t last. Won’t last, won’t last, won’t last, won’t last. If you were here right now I’d write the words “It won’t last” on a broomstick and smash you in the face with it until you looked like raw beef so I could be sure I got my point across. IT WON’T LAST YOU STUPID ****TARDS!
For instance, two people working towards making a marriage work are an example of two people being determined to overcome their problems. Two teenagers working at making a 3 year relationship work are an example of two people being stupid ****s. 99% of high school romances longer than 1 year aren’t going to make it to marriage, yet 100% of the people in these relationships have this idiot idea where they think they’re going to be part of the 1%. By all means, enjoy the months, even years that things are going well because it will be a great time in your life, but when the going starts getting really rough, cut your losees. It’s only the beginning of a long ride down.
Smoking (Cigarettes)
* Don’t, idiot. Every person I know that smokes has wanted to quit and yet almost none have been able to actually do it. Having seriously entertained the notion of smashing an old lady in the face with a Nestea bottle while at work to grab a few drags off her cig while she was unconscious I can say this from experience and with full resolve. The fact that my jaw is in numbing pain from chewing two packs of gum just today is further testament to this fact.
Those Drugs (Weed and Alcohol)
* Try them both at least once. You won’t become a junkie, a homeless person or a libertarian and you won’t play with your dad’s gun and blow your friend’s head off. A well rounded set of experiences is such an integral part to growing up that I honestly believe a 20 year old who devoted all his time to his studies will be just as poorly socially adjusted as the kid who dropped out to smoke weed all day. The key is to be well rounded. Take part in school activities, do your studies and get ****ed up now and again but never neglect any of these to focus solely on the others.
* Know what you’re getting into as well. No drug is completely safe and weed or alcohol are no exceptions. Neither are they half as bad as some people make them out to be. Know what you’re doing and most importantly, discuss it in another thread you bitches
Your problems
* Quite frankly, aren’t ****. Your parents don’t hate you because nobody “gets” you, getting dumped isn’t the end of the world and you aren’t depressed, you’re hormonally imbalanced. It’s called puberty. Right now some mother’s child is being shot dead in the culmination of a life lived wrong. Some husband is consoling the woman he worships because she has just been raped and is waiting to go to the hospital to be examined by a forensic specialist. These are the problems adults face, so save the pity party about your god damn trenchcoat. Enjoy the carefree days of being a teenager because one day you’ll wish you hadn’t felt sorry for yourself when you’ve got real **** to deal with.
Your parents
* They love you, they just don’t know what the hell they’re supposed to be doing with you
…….TO be continued another time.
source if anyone is interestedMarch 5, 2006 at 1:51 pm #139459OreoMemberI moved this here NOT because I think the post is worthwhile..in fact, Jeff, if you think it’s too harsh for younger staff please delete it again…I previously delted this from “Food, Romance…..” And wrote EEDOK the following:
oreo wrote:Your post has been delteted unless you can give me a good reason to put it back
EEDOK,
Believe it or not, I can put up with a lot of things in the particular section in which you posted. HOWEVER, why did you think any one in CC or the site would accept a post that is derrogatory towards religion and sexual preference. The language is zipped out by our filters…fine…but those remarks will not be tolerated. Next time, either EDIT out the parts you know will not be accepted here or do not post. If you have to write a warning intro, then it’s probably not appropriate for BigBlueBall. I am not saying that post had no merit…however, the way it was displayed made it unsuitable for the site. Many of us find something kind of interesting or funny we would like to put on the site, but realise it’s not appropriate; then we don’t post what we’ve found. If you would like to appeal this feel free to write me at [email protected] or Jeff at [email protected] Please think before you post.
Thank You,
Oreo
CC Team Leader
Bigblueball.comI really do NOT think there’s merit in this article…it gets lost in all of the other crap. I think it’s by a little punk for a bunch of little punks and I’m sick EEDOK posting things like this. He flits in and out of the forums and likes to cause trouble for his “grand” re-entrance and I’m not impressed by it one bit. It’s a pattern with him that’s really getting tiresome. Opinions every one else?
March 5, 2006 at 2:28 pm #139462MartinBradleyMemberAgreed.
March 5, 2006 at 5:47 pm #139464sarahtownyMemberAgreed. Instinct is always the best policy. That’s why we are the staff of bbb! :0)
March 5, 2006 at 6:42 pm #139463SpikeMemberWow…I definately did not like the sound of that just by skimming it. Agreed, please keep it out-of-sight (and mind, for that matter).
March 6, 2006 at 12:22 am #139460OreoMemberThis was his answer to me…..
EEDOK wrote:could it just be edited and reposted?
It’s an older post(you could tell if you looked at the source of the post) and I forgot to reread the intro sorryHow does NOT ON YOUR LIFE sound as an answer…though I think I’ll put it in better terms.
March 6, 2006 at 12:40 am #139466Eagle_KiwiMemberWell, I note that at LEAST he said “sorry” ! … but I dunno about too harsh for younger readers, this OLDER reader just wouldn’t go near a post with all that many **** things. 😡
I’d think just something like a firm: “Sorry, but no” should suffice.
I don’t like the idea of entering into protracted debate with such a guy – WHY is he so keen to have all that stuff on BBB anyway ? And who runs BBB – him… or us ?March 6, 2006 at 2:02 am #139465MrEggsaladParticipantIt’s too harsh for me…the advice is also…bleh. It’s not good…I don’t like it…
March 6, 2006 at 3:23 am #139461OreoMemberI have no intention on letting him “edit” and put it on there….I’m going to make him wait a bit…like until I write him tomorrow.
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