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Some people really are too stupid to use a computer…
Tech Support: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”Ahh..thanks I needed a little laugh to break up my day.
“Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . .”
I think she thought I could fix her problem through a ringing telephone.Those two really cracked me up, especially the first. and the kicking of the computer. 😀
Those were all absolutely hilarious. That’s a funny site! I looked at some of the other funny stuff they had, And I found this; It cracked me up.
Quote:quote:Customer: “I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won’t work.”
Tech Support: “Your A drive won’t work?”
Customer: “That’s what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won’t work at all.”
Tech Support: “Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?”
Customer: “I didn’t get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn’t come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn’t work either.”
Tech Support: “You did what sir?”
Customer: “I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn’t budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit.”
Tech Support: “I don’t understand sir, did you push the eject button?”
Customer: “No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can’t believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective.”
Tech Support: “Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?”
At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.Tech Support: “Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?”
Customer: “I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out.”
Tech Support: “Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?”
Silence.Tech Support: “Sir?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Tech Support: “Sir, did you push the eject button?”
Customer: “No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?”
Tech Support: “Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn’t follow the instructions we sent you, didn’t actually seek professional advice, didn’t consult your user’s manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?”
Customer: “Ummmm.”
Tech Support: “Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?”
Customer: (now rather humbled) “But you’re supposed to help!”
Tech Support: “I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day.”But they’re all funny.
But maybe sometimes we shouldn’t make fun of other people and their computer-#65279;Illiteracy. After all, there’s a first time for everything. 🙂
Oh, and here’s another funny one:
Quote:quote:While I was at college I had to develop and install a new mainframe payroll update system. I coded it up and finally the day came to introduce it to the business office. I couldn’t resist. I told the staff there that the system had an advanced feature whereby it could read hand prints off the screen to authenticate the user. So after they keyed in their usernames and passwords, I had them put their hands on the screen and hit enter. I had the cursor flash across the screen, like it was scanning the hand print, and then a message would welcome them to the system. For about a week, all five staff members were putting their hands on the screen to log in. Then one day my boss happened to notice what they were doing and had me remove the “scanning” part.Oh, and another:
Quote:quote:One night there was a thunderstorm in the area, and one customer, notorious among the tech support crowd, called:Customer: “Did you know about the thunderstorm? I heard that I should unplug my computer. Should I do that?”
Tech Support: “In most cases, yes, it is best to at least unplug your phone line. Lightning sometimes causes power surges that can damage your modem.”
Customer: “Can it damage other things as well…like the phone?”
Tech Support: “I’ve never heard of that happening before, but it is a possibility.”
Customer: “So do you think that I should unplug the phone from my computer and from all the phones as well?”
Tech Support: (frustrated) “Couldn’t hurt.”
Customer: “So when can I plug them all back in?”
Tech Support: (really annoyed now) “When the storm is over.”
Customer: “How will I know when it’s safe, though?”
My face lit up like a Christmas tree, and it was all I could do to keep myself breathing evenly.Tech Support: “I will call you.”
Customer: “Ok! Thank you!”i get these all the time, and i’m not even a “tech support” employee anywhere… I get stuff like this from other people in my dorm at college. its sad how so many people have computers, and so few know how to use them
there’s one i’ve seen around where the guy calls in, says he cant see anything on his monitor. tech guy goes through the normal troubleshooting steps, asks if the thing is plugged in properly. caller says he cant tell from where he is, so the techie asks if he can find out.
c- “no no I cant see the cables, its too dark.”
t- “well couldnt you just turn on the lights?”
c- “no, the power went out”
t- /pauses… “sir, do you still have all the original boxes your computer came in?”
c- “i think so, yeah”
t- “then put all the computer components back in their boxes and take the machine back to the store”
c- “ok and what do I tell them?”
t- “tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer”gotta love the simple pleasures in life
Lol, yes, they are good arn’t they?
I especially liked this one:
Quote:quote:My best friend’s family recently bought a new computer. They had all the hardware set up and the software ready to be installed when the stepdad picks up the Windows 95 box and says to his wife:* “How do they get the box into the computer?”
I cracked up in his face and haven’t been welcome there since. Apparently he thought that to install software you had to get the box in there somehow.
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