Two Jokes

Two jokes i got in my inbox today. Thought I would be generous and share them around.;)

> >Mujibar was trying to get into Britain legally through Immigration.
> >The Officer said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.
> >Unless you pass it you cannot enter Britain.”
> >Mujibar said, “I am ready.”
> >The officer said, “Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and
> >Green.”
> >Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister Officer, I am
> >ready.”
> >The Officer said, “Go ahead.”
> >Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up,
> >and say, ‘Yellow, this is Mujibar.'”
> >Mujibar now works at a call centre near you.
>
>

---

>
> >This equation should be taught in all math classes!
> >>
> >>
> >>From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
> >>
> >>What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
> >>about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
> >>been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
> >>about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
> >>
> >>Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
> >>questions:
> >>
> >>If:
> >>A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
> >>
> >>is represented as:
> >>1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
> >>
> >>Then:
> >>H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
> >>8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
> >>
> >>and
> >>K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
> >>11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
> >>
> >>But,
> >>A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
> >>1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
> >>
> >>And,
> >>B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
> >>2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
> >>
> >>AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
> >>A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
> >>1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
> >>
> >>So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and
> >>Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the
> >>Bull**** and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.