September 18, 2005 at 11:13 pm #20001Someguy03Member
Without going into much detail, me and this girl were together and then a few days ago it all ended…horribly (she left me, I didn't leave her).
It's really frustrating because I dont have any interest in getting back with her, but I cant stop thinking about her. I tried busying myself by hanging out with my guy friends, but I usually have school, and so I basically spend all of after school being depressed about her. I see her away messages saying shes hanging out with other guys, and I get jealous and depressed about that. We can't really talk because when we do we usually end up fighting (I have noticed that in most cases it takes a few months before you are able to talk again as friends without it being weird).
I really need advice on how to get my mind off her/how to not think about her what shes doing/etc.
Any recieved would be VERY appreciated.September 19, 2005 at 12:26 am #130383gossipingraeMember
stop reading her away messages for starters. take her off your list. join a school activity or something. get interested in another girl.September 19, 2005 at 12:37 am #130386AqeelParticipantgossipingrae wrote:take her off your list. join a school activity or something. get interested in another girl. gossipingrae, you're so right in these statements. Specially the last one get interested in another girl, Someguy03 that will take off your mind from her.September 19, 2005 at 3:40 am #130368Someguy03Member
So finding a girl is key?September 19, 2005 at 3:58 am #130373TigerbladeParticipant
not necessarily finding another girl, just finding something to keep your mind on something other than her. i know when i've broken up with girls in the past, it takes a while before i can stop thinking about them. after you've been that close with someone for that amount of time, it's rough trying to just block them out if they're causing you mental anguish. what works for me is simply finding something to keep my mind occupied.
while i dont recommend removing her from your life completely, i'd suggest not checking her away messages, not trying to call her or anything like that… just look beyond her. although, finding another girl is also a great way…September 19, 2005 at 4:17 am #130371EEDOKMember
ummm dude you're single..
See austin powers 2 for more information.September 19, 2005 at 7:22 am #130379sarahtownyMember
Ahh to be young again, just find another girl! … if only it was that easy. Mmh wished that worked when you get older …
Not trying to belittle love when your young, but even when I was in my teens and I broke up with someone, just replacing them with a new model was not my way personally. Whatever happend to licking your wounds for a moment, thinking about why it did not work, so that in your next relationship you do not make the same mistakes again? Have time to yourself to accept she was not for you, but let time heal you a little before getting a new girlfriend. Because as far as I am concerned you would not be ready at the moment for a new girlfriend and if you did it would be unfair on her as you would still be thinking of your ex, and that sounds like a receipe for disaster!
Just take some time out, don't read her messages just enjoy being with your mates for a bit.
Or am I showing my age!! :0)September 19, 2005 at 12:23 pm #130361Jeff HesterKeymaster
I don't think finding another girl would be the answer. That really wouldn't show any strength on your own part. First of all it would be just using a girl as a scapegoat from your problems (basically being on the rebound) and second you'd just be simply avoiding the real problem by relying on someone else. Sometimes you have to do things yourself and of course have the comfort of friends now and then, but they won't always be there throughout life. It's perfectly normal to miss someone especially after breakup and feel the way you do, as long as you don't let it get to the point where months pass by, and you're still feeling the same. Feel sad, don't lock everything up inside, and after a while just tell yourself, past is past, I have to move on and can't keep looking back. Look at this way, she seems to me to have moved on with her own life without even a worry, why should you be giving yourself hell? I do agree with taking her off your list to avoid even reading her away messages and going out with friends, but sometimes even that doesn't do enough because you're still thinking of her when you're out, and that's why it's mostly up to you to move on.
Again you can feel sad as long as you don't let it go past a month or years, and if you are having trouble then, at least instead of using a girl (unless you really feel you're falling for this person), do something else like exercise, or volunteer at a hospital. At least you'll be doing something constructive. This is my own take on it. If anybody feels to disagree, go right ahead I don't mind.September 19, 2005 at 12:43 pm #130380sarahtownyMember
Totally agree with everything Miami says… I see the man has wisdom!! Huggs 😉 So I was not just showing my age after all!!
Good luck to you and I hope you don't feel down for too long :0)September 19, 2005 at 1:25 pm #130378neo_ny_23Member
1) Say “F**K you” to her (offcourse not infront of her, only when you are alone in your room) and take her SN off from your buddy list.
2) During a weekend, bring all your friends and make a BBQ or go somewhere with all your friends.
3) If possible join any school activities as Rachel said here. Or concentrate on your job.
4) Tell yourself that “I am much better than any one and if she didnt choose me then its her loss, not mine” and be positive. So if she hangs out with other guys, just feel bad for the other guys rather than getting jealous.
5) Visit http://www.askmen.com and read this article.
6) Trust me. If you have good friends at school and at job, then getting over might be slightly easier. But if you are all alone, things will be hard unless you convince yourself that it wasnt your fault and there is no point of thinking about something thats not gonna happen. Many guys here said that “getting another girl” may not help. I am not asking you to “get another girl”. They are not objects. But why dont you see some one else at job or school? Try to hang out with some more people. Learn new things about your female friends. Or simply hang out with male friends, play football, or baseball, whatever interests you and actively participate in activities or just work out heavily at the gym.September 19, 2005 at 4:58 pm #130375HasanMember
I wouldnt suggest deleting her from your list.
Be brave enough to ignore her.
I know its difficult but use the custom nick feature of your IM Client and give her a custom nick of some guy name so you wont see her nicknames.
Don't bother messaging her on IM so you wont see her away messages either 🙂
If she messages you; act like you're fine and nothing has happened between you and her because best way to take revenge is to be happy.
You can turn on the music loud and dance in your room or go to gym and work out.
When you're totally tired you dont have enough energy to be depressed.
Watch movies like “Anything else”.
There is one thing you need to know. “She is not the last girl on earth and certainly not the best you can get” so? that means there is nothing to be depressed about.
There are lots of fish in the sea just wait till the next dives into your net 😉
In any case do not seclude yourself instead try to talk to as many people as possible BUT DO NOT talk to everyone about your breakup because its only going to make you feel worse specially when you're having fun. You can have one close friend to whom you can tell everything you have in your heart about what you're going through but that should be it noone else.
NOTE: Breaking up with a girl not necessarily means to be enemies with her. Its better if we avoid collecting people who infuriate us so try to avoid making enemies. If a relationship is not working its fine to break up and be depressed for a few weeks rather than get depressed as long as the relation remains but that does not mean you make it worse by being enemies with the person you broke up with.September 19, 2005 at 6:37 pm #130366OreoMember
Wow, so many pieces of wisdom before I get my crack at it! 😉 Though, there are a lot of good ideas. You need to choose for yourself whether or not it is too painful to have her on your list. Perhaps a short stint on the ignore list is all that is called for here. I am sure you are most perplexed because she suddenly up and left you in the lurch. It sounds like, from reading your post, that this may not have been the deepest relationship in the world…but you were not ready to let go just yet. That's OK…it takes time. You are racking your brain most likely, trying to figure out 1. Why she left. 2. What you did wrong 3. Why she finds those other guys more important.
STOP askiing too many questions. Live your life. It sounds, with the fighting you are mentioning, that this was not the best time for you. Sometimes it is better to be on your own than in a crappy relationship. If she's off with other guys (or wants you to think that anyway…why do people write away messages? because they KNOW some one is reading them!) poo on her.
Watch something funny (Conan O'Brien usually works for me!). Do something that you felt you could never do with her…because it “was not her thing.” Watch a movie you wanted to see but didn't because of her, you get the point. Be free…in body, spirit and mind. Enjoy yourself and do not let thoughts of some one so unimportant in the grand scheme of things ruin even one more second of your life. 🙂September 20, 2005 at 12:51 am #130387
Okay, another topic at which I am an expert. I just broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. He lives in LA, and I live in Dallas. tried to break up with him serveral times.. but each time.. he promises to move here. So finally he buys a $625,000 house and a new car ( and doesn't have a job !!??) for his parents ( who don't work) I can't afford the trips back and forth alone! Anyway to make along story short, once again after a week.. he starts the begging, promises and gult trips.. but THIS time he goes and sleeps with this girl who was on his myspace list ( a friend) which also created a problem. I was like.. dude.. why do you keep these females as friends who flirt with you?
So then he begged me last sunday and went and slept with her.. then called me right afterwards the minute he got home saying how he realizes more than ever how much he loves me. Then he trashed the girl. Sent her naked picture to his best friend. Lot of things.. it got nasty! I sent her an email which the chat logs about how he trashed her ( not that she really cares I don;t think.. judging by her myspace ID.. she is nothing more than *cough*) He got mad and started defending her, but he says I am the love of his life. ( LOL!) So then it got REALLY nasty.. I had all of his passwords and posted her naughty pic on his myspace profile pic (*naughty me!*) LOL! it was world war 3. Honestly for me.. it was easier to end that way.. find a reason to hate soemone and you won't miss them.
Dating someone else doesn't help in my opinion. The same day.. my ex BF of 3 years who was a MAJOR JERK showed up after almost a year wanting to get married (oh, can't find anyone else like me! I guess he got dogged by a few girls before he apprecaited me!) But really.. I was so not interested!
There has got to be something about this girl that you didn't like or thats he lied about or soemthing.. so everytime you are tempted to call or message her.. just think of that.. get pissed off and then go do something that makes you feel good. As well.. do something that makes you feel better about yourself!
last but not least.. watch Chris Rock: Never Scared and have a margarita.. or 2.. or 10. Thats what I did Saturday night! And move on baby!September 20, 2005 at 2:51 am #130377AwesomeSauceParticipant
I don't know if I can help much, but if something like this happened to me, I would just try to ignore her, and Hasan's right, just because you broke up doesn't have to be an enemy with her… well, it doesn't seem like you're really having problems with that, anyway, I would just focus on hanging out with my friends, focusing on my hobbies, like collecting NES games. So Be with friends, be friends with girls too, and get involved in something. Clean, dust and vacuum your room, then lay on your bed in your room and think about how nice it is to have a clean room… that's what I like to do. Listen to some relaxing music, be grateful for all of the great things you have, like friends, a house, a clean room .. 😉 listen to some relaxing music, like “Lean on Me”, by Al Green. And yeah, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Start thinking about another girl, I guess.September 20, 2005 at 3:13 am #130384gossipingraeMember
I only suggested taking her off your list, because, like MG said, it helps you to not read her away messages.
And get interested in another girl…I only meant it as like finding a crush. Just someone to have a little crush on. It's fun!
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