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Hi, my son is 13 and has started using the computer alot more. Just wondered if there is any way of protecting him, he uses messenger that’s fine, chats to his mates, but want to make sure he cannot use websites I think are not appropriate. Any ideas? His ID on here shows he is under 16 so will that stop him from being able to view web pages that are not for his eyes yet! Don’t to be to strict a mum just worried that’s all…
You are doing EXACTLY the right thing. Too many parents just let their kids surf here and there. I think my sister put a filter of some sort on their PC. (I’ll give her a ring and find out exactly what she did…I think it might be through her DSL company). She, her husband and both of her kids have an account from the family account. And I think they have a filter on the kids’ accounts to keep them from going to sites. The thing you REALLY have to watch out for is that some porn sites have similar names to some children’s sites….so one misspell, and you get some nasty stuff. I know that one man was caught and his sites were cut down. Another thing you can do is limit the amout of time kids have on the PC by using a router. You can set up accounts on the router and assign time for them to be online. It is really easy with our Linksys router to do this, I am sure some others could do the same.
Anyway, I hope this helps. You certainly are not being too strict…you are being a good mother…there are a lot of good things on the Internet; but of course there are a lot of bad things too. I always thought my parents meddled too much in my life and were more strict than other parents; now I’m glad they were! 🙂I think the best solution would be to put the computer in a place where you can see what he’s doing but not in a way that makes it necessarily seem like you’re invading his privacy since around that age that’s what they tend to want. Put the computer in the living room or a desk next to the tv where you can place the computer. When you’re not home, I suggest the things Oreo mentioned.
I agree with MiamiGuy to put the computer somewhere you can keep an eye on it. Stuff that you think he shouldn’t yet see can come from other places then just the internet. With the compact size of flash/jump drives and the low cost, his friends could easily give him just about anything. Without the need for him to ever access the internet for himself.
All I will say is don’t put up any restrictions, but get him his own computer to surf the web on, and a router. He can learn alot from obsene webpages, and maybe getting a mass of spyware and viruses on his computer will teach him why not to go to those pages in the first place. The reason for the router? Well if you’re gonna be an intrusive parent, routers keep logs 100 times better than any peice of software you can put on your system, and he can’t clear it by shutting down programs and deleting files, just make sure he doesn’t know the password to it. There are 2 major flaws to restrictions, first is there will always be workarounds, and normally those workarounds won’t be traceable. By not putting up restrictions but keeping logs is a bit devious.
To sum it up, don’t put any restrictions on your child, if he’s a good child he won’t go to those sites in the first place, and the restrictions will probably do more harm than good. For an example:
Never follow a link when you have no idea where it goes.I can only agree with MiamiGuy, don’t use restrictive software, and certainly do not use anything to log keys, IM conversations or Internet traffic without telling the child. I don’t care what others think, logging without letting the child know is horrible parenting and an invasion of privacy.
For me, 13 is old enough to see anything on the internet, but putting the computer in an open space, one where someone can easily walk up to them (without giving them time to turn off the display) is the best defense against ‘bad things’.
EEDOK wrote:To sum it up, don’t put any restrictions on your child, if he’s a good child he won’t go to those sites in the first placeJust because he is a “good child” doesn’t mean that he will not visit obscene sites. I was a good kid when I was a teen, but I still went to those sites. Why? Because my parents told me not to. Also, because I was curious.
Children tend to do things more often when someone of authority tells them not to. When I was about 7 or 8, I went over a friend’s house to play, and my friend lived with her father (parents were divorced). I needed to use the bathroom, and I distinctively remember seeing an issue of Playboy on the floor. I remember her dad saying, “Don’t look at that magazine.” What did I do? I opened it up and looked.
Sarah, do you what you feel is best for your child. I suggest using a filter, like the others mentioned. I’m sure if you googled it, some free versions would pop up. Good luck, keep us updated on what you do.
Well the computer is in a place where I walk past quite often. I don’t want to use anything to trace his conversations as what he talks about to his friends is private. All I have said to him is to be careful, and have put his internet account as high security and restricted sites. I did sit him down and talk about it and stated that there will be sites that he will accidently go to (hoping!), but they are not what he should be looking at and if he does accidently see anything naughty, to immediately leave! So all I can do is trust him, part of letting them grow up I suppose… However, I will look for a filter and see how that goes. Ahh a parents life is a happy life hehe
Dear Sarah,
There are no best way to deal with this but for me would be for you to sit down and have a talk with your son/daughter about the good and bad side of the internet. Set up what time they are allowed to use the Internet and computer, try to set up a time when you are around. Then have your computer located somewhere in your house where anyone can suddenly walks in on them. Next would be for you to implements filtering software such as “CyberPatrol”, “Net Nanny”, or “Cybersitter”. Those software are not fool-proof if they know a lot about computers to get around it, but I think it is good enough for the average user. Overall, the best way is to educate them, and try your best to lessen their exposure to the bad things out there. The lesser the better…better than sitting there doing nothing for you kids right? =)
Hope this helps…;)
Darn it, hihihi, to type all this up and when I finished, you guys already replied with almost everything that I have to say =D…o well…at least I tried =P
I would provide some instruction about being skeptical and NOT blindly accepting ActiveX controls that some insidious spyware/adware applications will try to install. Usually these come disguised as “helpful” toolbars or utilities like WeatherBug, but in fact will slow down your computer, your internet connection, and sometimes much worse. Avoid them like the plague, and when in doubt, just say NO when asked if you want to accept ANYTHING.
We have so many computers infected with spyware at work that it’s not even funny. I’ve seen computers slow to a crawl because people have been conditioned to blindly accept any prompt that pops up without really understanding what they’re getting (or if they really need it).
And make sure you install and use a decent spyware detection program regularly. Lately I’ve been using the beta version of Microsoft Antispyware (it’s free!) and am pretty happy with it so far.
Jeff wrote:I would provide some instruction about being skeptical and NOT blindly accepting ActiveX controls that some insidious spyware/adware applications will try to install. Usually these come disguised as “helpful” toolbars or utilities like WeatherBug, but in fact will slow down your computer, your internet connection, and sometimes much worse. Avoid them like the plague, and when in doubt, just say NO when asked if you want to accept ANYTHING.We have so many computers infected with spyware at work that it’s not even funny. I’ve seen computers slow to a crawl because people have been conditioned to blindly accept any prompt that pops up without really understanding what they’re getting (or if they really need it).
And make sure you install and use a decent spyware detection program regularly. Lately I’ve been using the beta version of Microsoft Antispyware (it’s free!) and am pretty happy with it so far.
I’ve been using linux exclusively for almost 2 years now, and for the longest time I didn’t even know what spyware was.. It’s generally best to learn what spyware is, by using a system that doesn’t get any, and not getting it the first place. BeatriX is quite neat, the guy who made it put lots of research into ease of use.
yeah, maybe… except the average computer user wouldnt have a clue what to do with linux. even some above-average computer users wouldnt have a clue what to do with linux. i dont know the first thing about linux, and i consider myself an above-average user.
quite honestly, switching to linux is not a viable alternative or suggestion, really. besides, the thread wasnt really meant to be about spyware, it’s more about protecting her kid from the bad sides of the internet.
It’s funny you say things like that, as I’m a technician, and the first thing I know about the average user is, they barely know how to turn on their computer, let alone use it. They get it filled to the brim with spyware, then pay me money to fix it. If you consider yourself an above average user why aren’t you familiar with what other choices there are for an operating system? Before you reply, read this page:
http://www.watsky.net/faqw.html
Then from there I challenge you to make a CD of it, and just see how much you don’t have a clue of what to do with it.this isnt meant to turn into a debate about windows vs linux. but since you mention beatrix.
Quote:Will my programs from Windows work in your system?
Mostly no. Neither will Macintosh programs run on a Windows machine or any other program on a machine other than the one it was designed for, except if you add special software to “emulate” that other computer.. But things like the word processor run the same way — if you’ve used any word processor you can use this — and are completely compatible with Microsoft Word 97, 2000, XP and 2003. There are several Linux programs that emulate Windows, but most cost money. They include Crossover Office, Cedega and the freeware Wine. Crossover Office, especially, is a bargain at $39.95, and will run Microsoft Office XP, Adobe Photoshop 7, Dreamweaver MX, Flash 7, Quicktime 6 and others. Cedega is for the gamer and is subscription-based.What’s the incentive for me to change if all of my programs don’t work?
You no longer have to pay for software or steal it. Our software is free. For life. No one can tell you how to use it, who you give it to or whether you play frisbee with it (The record for the small-CD frisbee toss is 25 meters.). Secondly, when was the last time you bought a piece of software that worked as advertised? Why pay for something that might not work?ok, right there is my main point. joe average wants a system that will actually work with the majority of the programs they already have. i am going to try it out, although it seems though i’m going to need to tack on something like the “Wine” emulator that’s mentioned, as i would like my programs to actually work. you know, little things, like… all the software on my machine. linux may be safer and all that blah blah, but if you cant run any programs on it…
personally i’d rather stick with the original operating system rather than run an emulator from within yet another OS.
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