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I don’t know what advice to give in this situation.
She has talked to her future husband and he won’t release her.
She has talked to her parents and they won’t change their arrangement.
Her culture accepts arranged marriages as normal.
She cannot simply leave the country.
She does not want to sever all connections with her own family.It seems like the only options are for her to deny her true love and accept the arrangement her parents have made, or to go ahead with the arranged marriage and keep maintain an illicit relationship with her true love. Unfortunately, the risk of being caught and the potential penalty for an affair may not make it a realistic option (moral issues aside).
I feel for your friend, and wish I had a magic solution. Is it at all possible for her to simply delay a wedding as long as possible? Sometimes additional solutions become apparent in time.
There is perhaps another option here, the future husbands family. If i am right in assuming that they arranged the marriage, if they disapproved of the marriage it probably wouldn’t happen. So if they could be convinced that your friend is not a good match for there son it wouldn’t happen… so possibly she should talk to them.
The only other thing i can think of that she could do is to delay the wedding as long as possible, and use that time to try and convince the parties it is a bad idea… and if all else fails either up and leave or go through with the arranged marriage.
And upping and leaving and marrying for love does not always go wrong, i know one couple from that area who left there families and married, moving away to a big city and living there. Later the families relented and they reconciled so it doesn’t always go wrong… though admitedly it often may do depending on the families involved.
Well I know this would probably kill her dad and shame the family for years to come, but what if she became in a family way? Would the arranged-husband-to-be still take her as used goods?
animepenguin wrote:but what if she became in a family way?what? i have no idea what you even mean, “became in a family way”… besides, i think the point is NOT to strain her parents and family, especially to the point of death. geez.Tigerblade wrote:what? i have no idea what you even mean, “became in a family way”… besides, i think the point is NOT to strain her parents and family, especially to the point of death. geez.I think that’s a quaint way of saying “get pregnant.”I understand what anime is saying. Oreo, I’m not sure if I’m correct, but isn’t India a country where there are arranged marriages (obviously the topic here), but when the woman is a young girl…I don’t really know how to put this nicely…doesn’t the young woman have her private parts sewn or stitched together until her wedding night? I’m sure if she did something so extreme as what anime suggested, perhaps her arranged husband would not want to take her as his wife anymore.
I’m not familiar with this culture, but if I am wrong, please correct me.
That is generally not done in India…it is more common in some counties of Africa. Actually, what happens a lot in India is bride burning…where the man is not happy with the dowery the woman brings and she “mysteriously” burns to death in her kitchen. He then takes her wealth and marries higher. But that’s not what we’re talking about here…this is just a sad situation in which the institution of arranged marriage and the existence of real love are at odds. To be honest…my friend has yet to get back to me…so I don’t know what is going on. I’m a bit worried.
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