Your problem isnt messenger its the attacks that have been made by The My Doom worm and a whole list of its varous off spring from it they launched DOS ( denial of service ) attacks at a large group of web sited Mostly Mircosoft but theses attacks efffect the web slowing the proccesses of the web Monday and tuesday myself and a bunch of freinds had trouble even stayin on line ( we all have dsl or cable but connetion speeds we way below even a 14.4 dail up modem also some of this happened yesterday speeds form ussally around 512 kbps an cable speeds up to 3 mbs we slashed down to amost nil or nil , ) you can see how fast you connetion is by going here http://promos.mcafee.com/speedometer/test_0150.asp this covers internet connection speeds 0 to 2000 kbps.

does the computer your using have firewall ? xp has one built into it .

Havn’t used it but I would say if your antivirus lets you download it its more than likely clean ,Most web masters frown on offering tainted or troganed programs if you trust the owner of the web site download it if you dont trust or know web site owner/ author , and you gotta have the program or just want it download it but dont open it till after you can do an online scan for trogan horses or you could goto http://www.emsisoft.com/en/ from there you can download a free scanner and never have to worry about malware again as long as you keep it updated regularly .

Just a small note write down your freinds and families user names on a peice of paper kepp it where you keep important papers like life ins and such also inculed thier email adds because if for some reason your pc crashes and you have to reinstall windows you probly wount remeber all of them also make a back up disc put the same info on it small task will pay off big if you ever need it .

Just wanted to add you can goto http://www.dshield.org/ipinfo.php put the ip in the box and trace it .
Just a note not all hits on a firewall are solely directed at your pc , scans and other types of intrusions are done on a large scale Meaning a list of ip address in the hopes of finding an exploitable port or pc . having a firewall pretty much makes you pc invisable to an intruder so Its probly safe to say your not the sole target . also tracing an IP address doesnt mean that its the attacks IP he/she could and probly is using proxies and hiding his/her real IP.

How is find out his ip going to tell you if hes real or not ? If you think your the but of someones joke or its a freind of yours simply playing a joke look at the way they say things you can change your type set but not how you talk well not for any length of time your habits shine thru. have you and this guy had a voice chat talked on the phone ? his ip address would just tell you what Isp he is using unless hes using a web proxy . If you have doubt confront him, sneaking around is no way to base a relationship .
Just a hint but look at the email header you might find what your looking for .

A little more info please ? what operating system , memory, ram ? did you recently open an attachment in an email ?

Goto http://www.romanware.com/ look for ypager 5.6 it has a manual login and ghosting you can hear whats being said on voice and your name logs in and right back out