Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Three Things:
1– Suzanne— Those two posts were the most irrelevent posts ever. Congrats I think you set a record
2– Suzanne— Its not peeps– Its people
3– Jaycal1980— WATCH THE LANGUAGE DAMN IT!!!! lol- kidding– seriusly though watch the language
Samir: How come no one in this country can pronounce my name right? It’s Na-gee-een-ah-jah. Nagaenaja (?).
Dr. Swanson:That’s really not what I do, Peter. However, the good news is, I think I can help you. I want you to do something for me, Peter. I want you to try and relax. I want you to relax every muscle in your body, from your toes to your fingertips. Now I want you to relax your legs. You’re going to begin to feel your eyelids getting heavy as you slip deeper and deeper into a state of complete relaxation. the air of concerns to you is disappearing. Deeper, way down, your concerns about your job melts away. Way, way down. Now when I count backwards from three, you’ll be in a state of complete relaxation. your worries, cares and ambitions will be gone. And you will remain in that state until I snap my fingers. Three. Deeper and deeper. Way down, way down. Two. Way down. One.
(He faints out of the chair and everyone rushes to his aid.)
Anne: Oh my God, Dr. Swanson! Ooh! Ooh! Is he dead? Oh!
(She runs to get help. Peter just sits there and smiles. The hypnosis thing apparently worked…)
________________________________________________________________________
Joanna: So, where do you work, uh, Peter?
Peter: Initech.
Joanna: And, uh, what do you do there?
Peter: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: (nods) What’s that?
Peter: You see, they wrote all this bank software and to save space, they put 98 instead of 1998. So I go through these thousands of lines of code and uh, it doesn’t really matter. I, uh, I don’t like my job. I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You’re just not gonna go?
Peter: Yeah.
Joanna: Won’t you get fired?
Peter: I don’t know. But I really don’t like it so I’m not gonna go.
Joanna: (laughs) So you’re gonna quit?
Peter: No, no, not really. I’m just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter: About a week ago.
Joanna: Really?
Peter: Oh, yeah.
Joanna: Ok. So, so you’re gonna get another job?
Peter: I don’t think I ‘d like another job.
Joanna: (laughs) So what are you going to do about money and bills?
Peter: Y’know, I never really liked paying bill? I don’t think I’ll do that either.
Joanna: (laughs) So what do you want to do?
Peter: I want to take you out for dinner and then I wanna go to my apartment and watch Kung Fu.
_________________________________________________________________________
Bob Slydell: Here’s a peculiar one. Milton Waddams.
Dom: Who’s he?
Bob: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom: Oh.
Bob Slydell: We can’t find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found what happened was he got layed off about five years ago and no one ever told him about it. But through a glitch in Payroll, he still gets a paycheck. I went ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill: Great.
Dom: So, um, Milton has been let go.
Bob Slydell: Just a second there, Professor. We, uh, we fixed the glitch. So he won’t be receiving a paycheck anymore. So it’ll just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. The problem is solved from here on, then.
TV All the way because I hate my sound system.
Everyone: Would it be worth it to get nicer speakers and watch them on a computer?
Quote:quote:Originally posted by EvanQuote:quote:Originally posted by magistykWhoa boys, lets keep the hormones down in this thread. 😀
hehe magi has 1337 posts 🙂 just thought I mention that. and congrats to Dr.Kimble
That was the most random thing i’ve ever heard
unlesss im not getting somethingQuote:quote:Originally posted by AnnaMy Trogdor hoodie clearly speaks for itself. 😀
same here– I once had a kid come up to me and ask if that was my dog
for real
im not lyin
