- This topic has 67 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Osa bin Laden sent George Bush a coded message to let him know he’s still alive:
– 3 7 O H S S V –
– 0 7 7 3 H –
Well, George was baffled. He gave the message to the CIA and the FBI but none of them could decipher it.
Finally they ask Britain’s M6 for help. M6 reply: “Tell the president he’s holding the message upsidedown!”
***:rolleyes:***I like that one …. Bush is such a douche bag. On behalf of the USA, I’d like to apologize to the rest of the world for him getting re-elected. I didn’t vote for him and he didn’t win the majority of the votes in my fair city.In fact ….. Kerry licked Bush in Austin! :pBA-DA BING!:woot:But he did… he really did.I always understood that the so-called “bible-belt” had alot to do with George Bush’s success, but my grasp of American politics is nebulous at best so I’d better not comment further:o
Q. How does Snoop Dogg keep his teeth clean?
A. Bleeeeee-Yatch.
There are two news items that I am quite interested in but that don’t appear to be deemed newsworthy by the UK press. One is Mike Ts latest run in with the law and the other is the Phil Spectre trials. I don’t know why but they are just not being reported on over here.
Here’s one that you might not understand as I doubt if the case of Micheal Barrymore is getting much news time in the US.
Q. Why are there no ash trays in Micheal Barrymore’s house?
A. Because he puts all his fags out in the pool.
(((:cool:)))Q.) Why won’t a shark attack a lawyer?A.) Professional courtesy.
Q.) How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A.) His lips are moving.
Q.) How can a pregnant woman tell that she’s carrying a future lawyer?A.) She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.Q.) How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A.) How many can you afford?Q.) What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?A.) Skeet.Q.) What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?A.) Nothing. There are some things a pig won’t do.Q.) Why does California have the most lawyers in the country and New
Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?A.) New Jersey got first choice.Q.) What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?A.) One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.
Q.) What’s the difference between God and a lawyer?A.) God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.Q.) What’s the differnce between a lawyer and an onion?A.) Nobody cries when they chop up a lawyer:crying:Q.) How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?A.) Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q.) Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?A.) Because deep down, they are really good guys.
And our final question:If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them,:rolleyes:…… would you go to lunch or read the paper? 🙂If there are any lawyers in this forum, I apologize, …only because I was suppose to post a joke.:pneener, neener, neener
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.